I called his brother that night.
Richard listened thoughtfully as I shared my Lighthouse experience. He was relieved that many of the gaps were being filled in and said that the missing pieces were helping him tremendously.
"So.... " he asked, "Do you think he jumped in ... or do you think he fell in?"
"Hmmmmm......" I thought.
"It was clear from the pictures and from the investigation," I said, "that Gary was determined to get close to the water. It was clear that he was very very close to the edge. Whether he fell in or jumped in, no one will ever know. But the scuff marks did end at the edge of the cliff."
Richard proceeded to share what he remembered about those several days in July 2009. He said that after Gary went missing, their half sister Carol flew to San Francisco from Washington DC to take care of Gary's belongings. He said that she had arranged a little get together of Gary's AA friends and allowed them to take something from his possessions to remember him by. I remember feeling hurt as he was sharing this because I hadn't been called. He reminded me though that there was no address book so they didn't have a number. (On a side note - at this moment, my cell phone buzzed, indicating that I had just received a text message. But since I was in the middle of something important, I ignored it. )
I told Richard that I was going to spend the weekend looking for the most appropriate spot to throw the haku lei into the water and to give myself the space for closure. He suggested Ocean Beach, the Cliff House - since Gary used to enjoy visiting the sea lions, and Stinson Beach. We said our goodnights and I hung up the phone.
On my way into the bedroom, I picked up my cell phone to look at who had texted me. It was from an unfamiliar 415 number...one that I did not recognize. I clicked on to the number to reveal the message ... and this is what I saw:
"Here's the new # since u acting all left out...lol"
I gasped! I couldn't breathe. Gary? No. My heart started to pound!
With my hands shaking, I texted back, "???"
Immediately I got a reply, "What up mean ??? U got the number now...I hope you don't think this some random bitch...lol"
I was shaking harder and my heart was pounding faster! I didn't know what to think! This was too weird. This can't be Gary ... yet ..... I couldn't explain what was happening. I was too scared to even think about calling that number!
I texted back, "Still ...???"
Minutes passed. Nothing. And then I got, "Oops...wrong number...my bad."
The shaking and heart palpitations continued for awhile! I was spooked...big time!
Was this just another coincidence??? You tell me.
If you had read The Celestine Prophecy, you would know that nothing is a coincidence.
********
Do I think he jumped in or do I think he fell in?
In my heart of hearts, I believe that this was an accident. After hearing the details from the park ranger, understanding how the events of that day unfolded, looking at the pictures of the path he took, knowing Gary's personality and habits, understanding his propensity to search out quiet spots near the ocean to contemplate life, knowing how the strong Point Reyes winds can shift quickly and lift anyone up, knowing that his footing may have been a little unstable especially if he had started drinking again, knowing that his car and apartment were left in such a state that indicated that he was expecting to come home......all point, in my mind and in my heart, to the very very strong possibility that he fell in accidentally.
His brother feels the same way.
********
I was able to say goodbye to Gary over the weekend.
Rich and I drove to the Cliff House and parked on the landing above the old Sutro Baths. We hiked down and then up to the hill and cliffs located to the right of the Baths and Gary's endearing Seal Rock. We found a small opening - almost like a cove - where we tossed the beautiful haku lei over the cliff and into the water. This spot had a spectacular view of the places that Gary and I used to visit often when we first moved to San Francisco - The Cliff House, Sutro Baths, Ocean Beach, the Marin Headlands, the Golden Gate Bridge.......and the ever powerful and magnificent Pacific Ocean...the ocean that always brought peace and tranquility to our souls....the ocean that always remained our one true connection to the aina (land) that we so loved and missed.
It was perfect!
********
Thank you for blessing my life, Gary, with your genuine and unconditional love and friendship. No one has ever ...ever... made me laugh as much, as often, and as hard as you did!!
I miss your smiling eyes and your hugs that were filled with real aloha!
Remember the flapping fish in the bathtub? Wapa! Wapa! Wapa! That will forever be our secret.
Remember busting me out with my secret stash of Chips Ahoy cookies? What were you doing in my closet anyway?
Remember how we used to bebop in the pew at church? Do you think they'll let us into heaven after that? By the way, how IS heaven?
Me ke aloha pumehana, dear friend.
Aloha 'oe. A hui hou kakou.
... until we meet again.
*********
Monday, February 27, 2012
Sunday, February 26, 2012
#52 - The Park Ranger's Story (3 of 4)
"On Sunday, July 19, 2009, at approximately 7:00 am, I saw a red Toyota MR2 parked in this spot. There was nothing unusual about it as people sometimes come up early in the morning to visit the Lighthouse. But when it was still here at about 12:00 pm, something just didn't feel right. At that point we ran the plates and found that it belonged to Gary - of San Francisco. We called SFPD and dispatched officers to the house in San Francisco to see if he was there. It was an old address and the person there gave us his brother's name and phone number in Hawaii. His brother Richard gave us the new address and the landlord's name and number and also said that 'if his car is there, then he went there to kill himself.' Immediately the car was cordoned off and the Marin Search and Rescue Team was called. The car was absolutely clean so they called the landlord and asked him to bring some of Gary's belongings for the search dogs to sniff. A boat and helicopter were dispatched and they began searching from the sea and air. Several search teams began scouring the grounds calling out his name. When the landlord arrived with Gary's shoes and some clothes, the dogs studied the scent and quickly dashed off toward the Lighthouse."
At this point, the park ranger and I got into his vehicle and drove up the service route to the Lighthouse which was the same route the search dogs had traveled. When we got to the end of the road, he parked the car and showed me some pictures from the case file. There were three 8 1/2" x 11" color photos. The first photo was a picture of where Gary jumped over the fence to get to the old path leading to the old lighthouse. The second picture was of the old path with some broken wooden boards. This was where a team of search dogs followed Gary's scent until the terrain got so sketchy that they had to turn around. The third picture showed a path beyond where the dogs walked...a path just inches from the cliff ... the path where this park ranger and his supervisor crawled on their hands and knees to follow the scuff marks. They crawled until they felt that their own lives were in danger. They could still see scuff marks on the path ahead and these marks went all the way to the edge of the cliff.
We got out of the car and started walking toward the Lighthouse staying on the path the scent dogs took. We stopped at the Visitors Center - which was closed - and the park ranger said "This is the place he was last seen alive."
"It was about 2:15-2:30 in the afternoon on Friday, July 17, 2009. There were two interpretive park rangers on duty - park rangers who talk about the history and geography of the area - who were getting ready for a shift change. In my investigation, we found that Gary was here on that Friday. When I showed Gary's picture to the park ranger who was on duty at the time, she immediately recognized him and described his clothing - tan shorts, a green shirt, a tan and green hat and flip flops. This was exactly what his brother Richard said that he was probably wearing on that day. She said that Gary was looking at the picture of the Point Reyes Lighthouse - the same picture you were looking at up at headquarters - and was asking about the old path and the landing below. She said that he was quiet and contemplative and that he kept to himself. Some other people came into the Center so she went to talk to them. He was still in the shop when she left for lunch at around 2:30. She was the last person to see him alive."
I then remembered that I had looked at the clock when I was sitting in the park ranger's truck. It had said 3:00 pm - just about the same time of day that Gary was in the area on that Friday in July 2009 so I asked the park ranger about the weather conditions on that day. He said that "It was very similiar to the weather today - a foggy San Francisco summer - high 40's low 50's - foggy off the coast but clear and sunny on land."
The park ranger also added that he interviewed another park ranger who was staying up near the Lighthouse on that Friday night but had come down early Saturday morning to go into town for breakfast. She remembered seeing a red Toyota in the parking lot that morning but didn't think anything of it at the time.
"Are you ready? Are you ready to go down 300 stairs to the Lighthouse?" the park ranger asked me.
"Of course", I said. "I want to see and experience everything Gary experienced on that day and to go as far as I am allowed to go."
We proceeded to the Lighthouse and I saw the long set of stairs ahead of me. Like the Visitors Center, the Lighthouse was closed but the park ranger unlocked the gate to the stairs and we started the descent. I felt like a VIP. No one else was allowed access to those stairs that day.
I was in awe of the breathtakingly beautiful views of the coast, the ocean and the Lighthouse! And I couldn't believe how high we were. I was afraid vertigo was going to kick in...but no matter...that would not have stopped me from this quest.
Down, down, down we went....quiet and contemplative....with me being careful not to trip over myself and tumble into Mr. Park Ranger who was just a few steps ahead.
Just before we got to the Lighthouse, he stopped at the last landing and said, "This is where Gary went over the fence to get to the old path. This is where not one but two to three dogs wanted to jump over to follow his scent. This is where an undocumented search team and their dogs went over and followed the scent until it got so sketchy and unsafe that they had to turn around. This is where my supervisor and I climbed over and went down to follow the path and the scuff marks until it got too dangerous for us even when we were low to the ground and on our hands and knees."
I stepped onto the landing and looked over. I looked out and examined the rocky terrain and imagined my friend climbing down to get to a secluded spot near the water. Immediately my thoughts went to... "Hmmm....he did what we would always do in a situation like this. We'd find an entry point along the coast and hike down to get as close as we could to get to the water. We'd get situated and sit there for hours....watch the waves ... contemplate life. When it got cold, we would hike back up and then go home. That was the kind of stuff we'd do. Huh."
We continued down to the Lighthouse. I tried looking for the old path, the old landing and the cliff but the buildings and the hilly coastal terrain obstructed my view. Mr. Park Ranger also informed me that I was not allowed to throw my lei and flowers over the edge as "it could land on the rocks on the way down and some tourist would see it and want to hike down to get it." He said that he could not put anyone's life in jeopardy.
At that point, I knew that I was done with the visit. I was expecting full closure but was not going to get it that day. I got a lot of details and information but it was clear that I was not going to be able to say goodbye to Gary there...not if I couldn't throw the flowers and the haku lei into the water.
The park ranger and I climbed back up....all 300+ stairs... and bid farewell to each other. I gave Mr. Park Ranger the beautifully scented gardenias - since I couldn't toss them over the cliff - and thanked him for his time, thoroughness, and understanding.
On the walk back to my car, I stopped and stood in the parking stall where they found my friend's car. I tried to get a feel of what he might have been going through back then. I did not pick up on any kind of sad or distressed energy. I turned and headed back to my car and pushed the button to open my car doors. Zilch...no light...no click....dead...nothing...again.
"Gary, cut it out! This is not funny! It's going to get dark. I need to get home!"
I pushed the button again and the locks popped up!
I got in my car and sat for awhile. I was unsettled. There was still no closure for me. But what could I do? I started to pull away from my parking spot when I looked to my left. There on the hillside were two young tule elks grazing. I quickly turned the car in that direction and parked in the exact spot where Gary's car was found. I watched these two youngsters hang out with each other - separate....doing their own things...but together! Was this a sign from Gary? I stayed there for awhile thinking about my friend, his sadness, and our many talks about growing up in Hawaii and "small kid time".
I popped in another C & K cd and headed back to the City. I still had the special haku lei in my car. Should I drive down to Stinson Beach? Should I release it at Ocean Beach? Both just didn't seem like the right choices at the time.
Something told me that there was still more to come....that my journey was not yet over.......and the little voice inside was right.
At this point, the park ranger and I got into his vehicle and drove up the service route to the Lighthouse which was the same route the search dogs had traveled. When we got to the end of the road, he parked the car and showed me some pictures from the case file. There were three 8 1/2" x 11" color photos. The first photo was a picture of where Gary jumped over the fence to get to the old path leading to the old lighthouse. The second picture was of the old path with some broken wooden boards. This was where a team of search dogs followed Gary's scent until the terrain got so sketchy that they had to turn around. The third picture showed a path beyond where the dogs walked...a path just inches from the cliff ... the path where this park ranger and his supervisor crawled on their hands and knees to follow the scuff marks. They crawled until they felt that their own lives were in danger. They could still see scuff marks on the path ahead and these marks went all the way to the edge of the cliff.
We got out of the car and started walking toward the Lighthouse staying on the path the scent dogs took. We stopped at the Visitors Center - which was closed - and the park ranger said "This is the place he was last seen alive."
"It was about 2:15-2:30 in the afternoon on Friday, July 17, 2009. There were two interpretive park rangers on duty - park rangers who talk about the history and geography of the area - who were getting ready for a shift change. In my investigation, we found that Gary was here on that Friday. When I showed Gary's picture to the park ranger who was on duty at the time, she immediately recognized him and described his clothing - tan shorts, a green shirt, a tan and green hat and flip flops. This was exactly what his brother Richard said that he was probably wearing on that day. She said that Gary was looking at the picture of the Point Reyes Lighthouse - the same picture you were looking at up at headquarters - and was asking about the old path and the landing below. She said that he was quiet and contemplative and that he kept to himself. Some other people came into the Center so she went to talk to them. He was still in the shop when she left for lunch at around 2:30. She was the last person to see him alive."
I then remembered that I had looked at the clock when I was sitting in the park ranger's truck. It had said 3:00 pm - just about the same time of day that Gary was in the area on that Friday in July 2009 so I asked the park ranger about the weather conditions on that day. He said that "It was very similiar to the weather today - a foggy San Francisco summer - high 40's low 50's - foggy off the coast but clear and sunny on land."
The park ranger also added that he interviewed another park ranger who was staying up near the Lighthouse on that Friday night but had come down early Saturday morning to go into town for breakfast. She remembered seeing a red Toyota in the parking lot that morning but didn't think anything of it at the time.
"Are you ready? Are you ready to go down 300 stairs to the Lighthouse?" the park ranger asked me.
"Of course", I said. "I want to see and experience everything Gary experienced on that day and to go as far as I am allowed to go."
We proceeded to the Lighthouse and I saw the long set of stairs ahead of me. Like the Visitors Center, the Lighthouse was closed but the park ranger unlocked the gate to the stairs and we started the descent. I felt like a VIP. No one else was allowed access to those stairs that day.
I was in awe of the breathtakingly beautiful views of the coast, the ocean and the Lighthouse! And I couldn't believe how high we were. I was afraid vertigo was going to kick in...but no matter...that would not have stopped me from this quest.
Down, down, down we went....quiet and contemplative....with me being careful not to trip over myself and tumble into Mr. Park Ranger who was just a few steps ahead.
Just before we got to the Lighthouse, he stopped at the last landing and said, "This is where Gary went over the fence to get to the old path. This is where not one but two to three dogs wanted to jump over to follow his scent. This is where an undocumented search team and their dogs went over and followed the scent until it got so sketchy and unsafe that they had to turn around. This is where my supervisor and I climbed over and went down to follow the path and the scuff marks until it got too dangerous for us even when we were low to the ground and on our hands and knees."
I stepped onto the landing and looked over. I looked out and examined the rocky terrain and imagined my friend climbing down to get to a secluded spot near the water. Immediately my thoughts went to... "Hmmm....he did what we would always do in a situation like this. We'd find an entry point along the coast and hike down to get as close as we could to get to the water. We'd get situated and sit there for hours....watch the waves ... contemplate life. When it got cold, we would hike back up and then go home. That was the kind of stuff we'd do. Huh."
We continued down to the Lighthouse. I tried looking for the old path, the old landing and the cliff but the buildings and the hilly coastal terrain obstructed my view. Mr. Park Ranger also informed me that I was not allowed to throw my lei and flowers over the edge as "it could land on the rocks on the way down and some tourist would see it and want to hike down to get it." He said that he could not put anyone's life in jeopardy.
At that point, I knew that I was done with the visit. I was expecting full closure but was not going to get it that day. I got a lot of details and information but it was clear that I was not going to be able to say goodbye to Gary there...not if I couldn't throw the flowers and the haku lei into the water.
The park ranger and I climbed back up....all 300+ stairs... and bid farewell to each other. I gave Mr. Park Ranger the beautifully scented gardenias - since I couldn't toss them over the cliff - and thanked him for his time, thoroughness, and understanding.
On the walk back to my car, I stopped and stood in the parking stall where they found my friend's car. I tried to get a feel of what he might have been going through back then. I did not pick up on any kind of sad or distressed energy. I turned and headed back to my car and pushed the button to open my car doors. Zilch...no light...no click....dead...nothing...again.
"Gary, cut it out! This is not funny! It's going to get dark. I need to get home!"
I pushed the button again and the locks popped up!
I got in my car and sat for awhile. I was unsettled. There was still no closure for me. But what could I do? I started to pull away from my parking spot when I looked to my left. There on the hillside were two young tule elks grazing. I quickly turned the car in that direction and parked in the exact spot where Gary's car was found. I watched these two youngsters hang out with each other - separate....doing their own things...but together! Was this a sign from Gary? I stayed there for awhile thinking about my friend, his sadness, and our many talks about growing up in Hawaii and "small kid time".
I popped in another C & K cd and headed back to the City. I still had the special haku lei in my car. Should I drive down to Stinson Beach? Should I release it at Ocean Beach? Both just didn't seem like the right choices at the time.
Something told me that there was still more to come....that my journey was not yet over.......and the little voice inside was right.
#51 - Preparing For the Lighthouse (2 of 4)
To start the process, I called my SFPD friend and got the name of the park ranger who had discovered Gary's abandoned car at the Point Reyes Lighthouse. The park ranger, who also happened to be the lead investigator on the case, and I made arrangements to meet on Tuesday, February 21, 2012. He kindly agreed to walk me through the events of that July 2009 day, to share the findings of his investigation into Gary's disappearance, and to allow me to say goodbye to my friend.
On Monday, February 20, 2012, I realized that I needed to get a haku lei and some Hawaiian flowers so I called Isha - a Hawaiian florist in San Francisco. I told her what I was planning on doing and she knew exactly what I needed.
After I made the call, I went to take a nap. When I awoke, I found a bag of Hawaiian cds on the kitchen counter. A friend had dropped them off while I was asleep. The cds were of the same contemporary Hawaiian genre that Gary and I loved!! Coincidence? I saw this as a sign that this journey was meant to happen this way.
When I went to pick up the flowers the next morning, Isha was still working on the lei....gracefully weaving in the orchids, the ti leaves, the baby's breath, the raffia, more orchids, more ti leaves, more baby's breath, more raffia..... This forced me to hang out for awhile....real Hawaiian style... "talking story".... just like in Hawaii. It kind of caught me off guard at first because this was so out of my normal fast-paced San Francisco routine. But it felt natural and so comfortable.
When I got home, because I was already running late, I rushed out of the car ...but my chatty neighbor cornered me. I tried scooting away but he kept talking. Suddenly I heard a THUD! in the garage. Something had fallen. I didn't look to see what it was. I just knew in my heart that Gary had caused something to happen because that's when my neighbor said, "You'd better go." When I turned, I saw that a mop had fallen over. But how? It had been leaning securely against the wall. There was no one physically there to push it over or the wind or a draft or anything to cause it to fall. Coincidence? Rich attributes the fall to the vibration of the garage door opening. (He is entitled to believe what he wants to believe.)
Embarking on the long drive to Point Reyes, I popped in one of the cds left on the counter. As the old familiar tunes began to play, I got ready for the deluge of tears . Instead, a strong feeling came over me that said "No, we are not crying! This is about cruising, blasting the C & K music...and hanging out just like how we used to hang out!" So I turned up the music and pushed forward. Somehow I knew that my dear friend was on the drive with me.
Upon entering the Golden Gate Park, I felt a need to do a little detour...like a special procession. I found myself driving to the old neighborhood where Gary and I used to live - the outer Richmond. I stopped to get a coffee at the Zephyr Cafe, his first place of employment in San Francisco. Then I proceeded to do the scenic route out of the City....through Lincoln Park, the Legion of Honor, past that fantastic view of the Golden Gate Bridge above Land's End, past Baker Beach - where he and I once ventured to the nudists' section of the beach pretending to toss a frisbee which we were both so inept with handling - and on to 101 North. It was a very scenic, nostalgic, and peaceful drive.
After an hour and a half of driving, I finally arrived at Point Reyes, parked in the lot of the Golden Gate Park Services headquarters, and walked in. I was greeted by a very friendly volunteer who kindly called the park ranger I was expected to meet. While waiting, I walked over to the gift shop. My eyes caught sight of a spectacular picture - an ariel view of the Point Reyes Lighthouse. When the park ranger arrived I brought him over to that picture and asked him to show me where everything happened so that I could physically put things in perspective. He first pointed to the area where Gary jumped over to get down to the old path that led to a landing which was the site of the old light house. He then showed me the path the rescue dogs took and the path that he and his supervisor followed down to the edge of the cliff. With that perspective in mind, he showed me another map of the general area and told me that I was then going to follow him in my car for twenty miles out to the Lighthouse.
When I walked to my car, I pushed the button on my keys to unlock the doors. Nothing happened....no click, no light...the locks did not move I tried it again. Still dead. And then it hit me that Gary was probably being Gary.
"Gary, stop it! Stop fooling around! This isn't funny. The park ranger is waiting for me!!"
As soon as I said that, the locks popped up!
The twenty-mile drive out to the Lighthouse was long and winding...but it was through beautiful and serene countryside. Lots of cows, barns, grass, fences, horses, pastures, more cows ... I kept thinking...why would Gary drive all the way out here to end his life?
We eventually arrived at the parking lot of the famous Point Reyes Lighthouse.
The park ranger walked me over to the very first parking stall in the lot... paused ... and said ...
"This is where the story begins..."
On Monday, February 20, 2012, I realized that I needed to get a haku lei and some Hawaiian flowers so I called Isha - a Hawaiian florist in San Francisco. I told her what I was planning on doing and she knew exactly what I needed.
After I made the call, I went to take a nap. When I awoke, I found a bag of Hawaiian cds on the kitchen counter. A friend had dropped them off while I was asleep. The cds were of the same contemporary Hawaiian genre that Gary and I loved!! Coincidence? I saw this as a sign that this journey was meant to happen this way.
When I went to pick up the flowers the next morning, Isha was still working on the lei....gracefully weaving in the orchids, the ti leaves, the baby's breath, the raffia, more orchids, more ti leaves, more baby's breath, more raffia..... This forced me to hang out for awhile....real Hawaiian style... "talking story".... just like in Hawaii. It kind of caught me off guard at first because this was so out of my normal fast-paced San Francisco routine. But it felt natural and so comfortable.
When I got home, because I was already running late, I rushed out of the car ...but my chatty neighbor cornered me. I tried scooting away but he kept talking. Suddenly I heard a THUD! in the garage. Something had fallen. I didn't look to see what it was. I just knew in my heart that Gary had caused something to happen because that's when my neighbor said, "You'd better go." When I turned, I saw that a mop had fallen over. But how? It had been leaning securely against the wall. There was no one physically there to push it over or the wind or a draft or anything to cause it to fall. Coincidence? Rich attributes the fall to the vibration of the garage door opening. (He is entitled to believe what he wants to believe.)
Embarking on the long drive to Point Reyes, I popped in one of the cds left on the counter. As the old familiar tunes began to play, I got ready for the deluge of tears . Instead, a strong feeling came over me that said "No, we are not crying! This is about cruising, blasting the C & K music...and hanging out just like how we used to hang out!" So I turned up the music and pushed forward. Somehow I knew that my dear friend was on the drive with me.
Upon entering the Golden Gate Park, I felt a need to do a little detour...like a special procession. I found myself driving to the old neighborhood where Gary and I used to live - the outer Richmond. I stopped to get a coffee at the Zephyr Cafe, his first place of employment in San Francisco. Then I proceeded to do the scenic route out of the City....through Lincoln Park, the Legion of Honor, past that fantastic view of the Golden Gate Bridge above Land's End, past Baker Beach - where he and I once ventured to the nudists' section of the beach pretending to toss a frisbee which we were both so inept with handling - and on to 101 North. It was a very scenic, nostalgic, and peaceful drive.
After an hour and a half of driving, I finally arrived at Point Reyes, parked in the lot of the Golden Gate Park Services headquarters, and walked in. I was greeted by a very friendly volunteer who kindly called the park ranger I was expected to meet. While waiting, I walked over to the gift shop. My eyes caught sight of a spectacular picture - an ariel view of the Point Reyes Lighthouse. When the park ranger arrived I brought him over to that picture and asked him to show me where everything happened so that I could physically put things in perspective. He first pointed to the area where Gary jumped over to get down to the old path that led to a landing which was the site of the old light house. He then showed me the path the rescue dogs took and the path that he and his supervisor followed down to the edge of the cliff. With that perspective in mind, he showed me another map of the general area and told me that I was then going to follow him in my car for twenty miles out to the Lighthouse.
When I walked to my car, I pushed the button on my keys to unlock the doors. Nothing happened....no click, no light...the locks did not move I tried it again. Still dead. And then it hit me that Gary was probably being Gary.
"Gary, stop it! Stop fooling around! This isn't funny. The park ranger is waiting for me!!"
As soon as I said that, the locks popped up!
The twenty-mile drive out to the Lighthouse was long and winding...but it was through beautiful and serene countryside. Lots of cows, barns, grass, fences, horses, pastures, more cows ... I kept thinking...why would Gary drive all the way out here to end his life?
We eventually arrived at the parking lot of the famous Point Reyes Lighthouse.
The park ranger walked me over to the very first parking stall in the lot... paused ... and said ...
"This is where the story begins..."
Saturday, February 25, 2012
#50 - My Friend Gary's Disappearance (1 of 4)
In October of 2011, I happened to be on Facebook when suddenly a chat request popped up!
I go to great lengths to keep the chat feature OFF so how did this one get through???? It was from my friend Wendy in Hawaii with whom I hadn't spoken to in years. Why now, though? I wondered. She and I fb chatted for awhile and she asked if I was still in touch with my friend Gary.
Gary and I met in Hawaii. We were roommates for three months - right before I moved to San Francisco - when my roommate at the time needed to sublet her spot to spend a summer in Alaska. We hit it off instantly!! We became best friends! Even my family members adopted him!!!! How could you not? He was sooo much fun.......sooo kind and generous......soooo positive and happy.....very easy going.....nice looking ...soooooo animated and funny...and very loving and gentle. I missed him a lot when I moved but when a spot opened up in San Francisco, I called and asked if he wanted to move in. He immediately said YES! We were roommates again and best buddies! We did everything together - partied like it was 1999; went clubbing and always danced on the stage at the IBeam; went to lots of Sunday tea dances; did vacations with my family; explored the City; walked through Muir Woods; explored the Marin Headlands and Stinson Beach; walked the beach at Ocean Beach often; skiied and played in the snow at Tahoe; rollerbladed in Golden Gate Park and crashed into each other and into other people... a lot........ and I was there in his life when he "came out". He and I shared many personal secrets and crazy experiences.
After about three years of heavy partying, I had to move on....went to graduate school, got a "real" boyfriend, a new apartment, etc.... Gary and I kept in touch but we were really living separate lives then. Our talks had become more and more infrequent. In these past recent years, I had tried calling and emailing but never received a response from him.
I shared this with Wendy in the chat. She instantly googled him only to find that he was listed as a missing person!!! WHAT??!! A Missing Person????? Missing???!!! No!!! What??!! I was in shock!
Immediately I started my own investigation and found a page with Gary's picture and the information taken from his drivers license. At the bottom of the page it said "Last seen on July 17, 2009 in San Francisco. Has not been seen or heard from since. Few details on this case." There was an SFPD missing case number. I called one of my pals on the force to get more info.
When did I last see Gary? Thinking back I guess-timated that it was early to mid 2007... twice in that year. The first time was when I invited him to have lunch with me and my best friend from high school, Geri, who had also been roommates with Gary at some point. We met at a Hawaiian restaurant near the Castro. As soon as he walked into the room, I knew that something was very different about him. The sparkle in his eyes was gone; his personality was flat and he did not want a glass of wine or anything alcoholic. He was not as talkative and as animated as I had remembered him being. Hmmmmm... I chalked the unusual behavior up to him not feeling comfortable to talk about private matters in a public setting. After all we hadn't seen each other in awhile. So I invited him to my apartment at a later date to talk privately. In that get together, he was still flat with very little sparkle. He told me that he was really depressed and was feeling guilty about not having been there when his mother passed away. His mother had been diagnosed with cancer in 2005. As often as he could, Gary would fly back to Hawaii to be with her. On his last visit there, he was struggling with a dilemma. He had a pre-planned-already-paid-for trip to France but didn't want to leave her. His brother said to him "Mom is better. You'll be gone for only two weeks. You should go." She died while he was in France... and he never forgave himself. I could see the pain, the anguish and the sadness in his eyes that day in my apartment. I didn't know how to help him then other than to just be his friend.
While I was waiting for the information from my SFPD contact, I tracked down his brother in Hawaii. Richard was pleased to hear from me and was hoping that I'd call him one day. He told me this story (in a nutshell).
"Gary was suffering from depression and alcoholism and was having a really hard time ... especially around Mom's death. He had been in and out of rehab. He had lost his job at the hospital where he was once a highly esteemed member of the liver transplant team. He had also been evicted from his apartment. Unfortunate events all connected to his alcoholism.
He was very embarrassed about his recovery and about what had happened to him with his job and living situations. He wanted no one to know.
On July 19, 2009, a park ranger found his abandoned car in the parking lot of the Point Reyes Lighthouse. They immediately did a search of the area. Rescue dogs, a helicopter and a boat searched until they couldn't search anymore. The dogs picked up his scent and followed it to a place where Gary had jumped a fence and had walked toward the edge of a cliff. His body was never found."
My SFPD contact also confirmed the story. "It's not good, Rey" he said.
I was reeling! I called my family! I called my friends! How could this have happened? This did not sound like Gary. He was always well put together and had things in place...all neat and tidy. This was my blond GQ surfer dude friend we're talking about! I couldn't fathom or process the shocking and sad news. I didn't even know about his alcoholism. I didn't know about the severe shift in his work and living situations. What happened?! Why didn't he call me??!! I just couldn't grasp the reality let alone my own guilt of abandoning him. Was my friend really gone?
********
And then the holidays happened for me and I had to shift gears quickly; followed by Rich's birthday (January) and then Priscille's birthday (February). I didn't have time to breathe until Monday, February 20, 2012.
That's when I began my healing process........
I go to great lengths to keep the chat feature OFF so how did this one get through???? It was from my friend Wendy in Hawaii with whom I hadn't spoken to in years. Why now, though? I wondered. She and I fb chatted for awhile and she asked if I was still in touch with my friend Gary.
Gary and I met in Hawaii. We were roommates for three months - right before I moved to San Francisco - when my roommate at the time needed to sublet her spot to spend a summer in Alaska. We hit it off instantly!! We became best friends! Even my family members adopted him!!!! How could you not? He was sooo much fun.......sooo kind and generous......soooo positive and happy.....very easy going.....nice looking ...soooooo animated and funny...and very loving and gentle. I missed him a lot when I moved but when a spot opened up in San Francisco, I called and asked if he wanted to move in. He immediately said YES! We were roommates again and best buddies! We did everything together - partied like it was 1999; went clubbing and always danced on the stage at the IBeam; went to lots of Sunday tea dances; did vacations with my family; explored the City; walked through Muir Woods; explored the Marin Headlands and Stinson Beach; walked the beach at Ocean Beach often; skiied and played in the snow at Tahoe; rollerbladed in Golden Gate Park and crashed into each other and into other people... a lot........ and I was there in his life when he "came out". He and I shared many personal secrets and crazy experiences.
After about three years of heavy partying, I had to move on....went to graduate school, got a "real" boyfriend, a new apartment, etc.... Gary and I kept in touch but we were really living separate lives then. Our talks had become more and more infrequent. In these past recent years, I had tried calling and emailing but never received a response from him.
I shared this with Wendy in the chat. She instantly googled him only to find that he was listed as a missing person!!! WHAT??!! A Missing Person????? Missing???!!! No!!! What??!! I was in shock!
Immediately I started my own investigation and found a page with Gary's picture and the information taken from his drivers license. At the bottom of the page it said "Last seen on July 17, 2009 in San Francisco. Has not been seen or heard from since. Few details on this case." There was an SFPD missing case number. I called one of my pals on the force to get more info.
When did I last see Gary? Thinking back I guess-timated that it was early to mid 2007... twice in that year. The first time was when I invited him to have lunch with me and my best friend from high school, Geri, who had also been roommates with Gary at some point. We met at a Hawaiian restaurant near the Castro. As soon as he walked into the room, I knew that something was very different about him. The sparkle in his eyes was gone; his personality was flat and he did not want a glass of wine or anything alcoholic. He was not as talkative and as animated as I had remembered him being. Hmmmmm... I chalked the unusual behavior up to him not feeling comfortable to talk about private matters in a public setting. After all we hadn't seen each other in awhile. So I invited him to my apartment at a later date to talk privately. In that get together, he was still flat with very little sparkle. He told me that he was really depressed and was feeling guilty about not having been there when his mother passed away. His mother had been diagnosed with cancer in 2005. As often as he could, Gary would fly back to Hawaii to be with her. On his last visit there, he was struggling with a dilemma. He had a pre-planned-already-paid-for trip to France but didn't want to leave her. His brother said to him "Mom is better. You'll be gone for only two weeks. You should go." She died while he was in France... and he never forgave himself. I could see the pain, the anguish and the sadness in his eyes that day in my apartment. I didn't know how to help him then other than to just be his friend.
While I was waiting for the information from my SFPD contact, I tracked down his brother in Hawaii. Richard was pleased to hear from me and was hoping that I'd call him one day. He told me this story (in a nutshell).
"Gary was suffering from depression and alcoholism and was having a really hard time ... especially around Mom's death. He had been in and out of rehab. He had lost his job at the hospital where he was once a highly esteemed member of the liver transplant team. He had also been evicted from his apartment. Unfortunate events all connected to his alcoholism.
He was very embarrassed about his recovery and about what had happened to him with his job and living situations. He wanted no one to know.
On July 19, 2009, a park ranger found his abandoned car in the parking lot of the Point Reyes Lighthouse. They immediately did a search of the area. Rescue dogs, a helicopter and a boat searched until they couldn't search anymore. The dogs picked up his scent and followed it to a place where Gary had jumped a fence and had walked toward the edge of a cliff. His body was never found."
My SFPD contact also confirmed the story. "It's not good, Rey" he said.
I was reeling! I called my family! I called my friends! How could this have happened? This did not sound like Gary. He was always well put together and had things in place...all neat and tidy. This was my blond GQ surfer dude friend we're talking about! I couldn't fathom or process the shocking and sad news. I didn't even know about his alcoholism. I didn't know about the severe shift in his work and living situations. What happened?! Why didn't he call me??!! I just couldn't grasp the reality let alone my own guilt of abandoning him. Was my friend really gone?
********
And then the holidays happened for me and I had to shift gears quickly; followed by Rich's birthday (January) and then Priscille's birthday (February). I didn't have time to breathe until Monday, February 20, 2012.
That's when I began my healing process........
#49 - Jin Ji Du Li
Stand on one leg while your eyes are closed. That is all. Just try it
right now. Stop reading and stand up. Close your eyes and try standing
on one foot.
If you are not able to stand for 10 seconds, it means that
your body has degenerated to the 60 to 70 years old level.
You may be only 40 years old but your body has aged a lot faster.
You do not need to lift your leg high. If your internal organs are out
of synch, even lifting your leg this bit will make you wobble.
There are 6 important meridians passing through our legs.
When you stand on a single leg, the weak meridian
will feel sore while getting the necessary exercise; and as this
happens, the corresponding organs of these meridians and their
path-ways, start getting the necessary tuning. This method can focus
or concentrate the awareness, and channel the body's qi to the foot.
Daily practice of Jin Ji Du Li, can help in healing many illnesses or
diseases. Diseases appear in the body because the coordination between the
various internal organs encounter problems and that causes the body to
lose its balance. Jin Ji Du Li can readjust this inter-relationship of
the organs and how they function with each other.
The beneficial effects of practicing Jin Ji Du Li on various illnesses
associated with hypertension, diabetes, neck and spinal diseases are quick to be seen and felt.
Jin Ji Du Li can also prevent gout and is the basic cure for "cold feet disease" .
It can also strengthen the body's immunity.
As you gain ability to stand for longer, the feeling of "head
heavy, light feet" disappears. As benefits of practicing Jin Ji Du Li,
you will notice that the quality of sleep improves, the mind
clears up and memory improves significantly. Most importantly if you
can practice Jin Ji Du Li with your eyes closed for 1 minute every
day, you will not get dementia (and your brain will remain healthy).
Jin Ji Du Li is suitable for everyone generally. You do not have to wait
until you have any illnesses to start practicing it.
I don't do yoga but I can improve my Jin Ji Du Li.
right now. Stop reading and stand up. Close your eyes and try standing
on one foot.
If you are not able to stand for 10 seconds, it means that
your body has degenerated to the 60 to 70 years old level.
You may be only 40 years old but your body has aged a lot faster.
You do not need to lift your leg high. If your internal organs are out
of synch, even lifting your leg this bit will make you wobble.
There are 6 important meridians passing through our legs.
When you stand on a single leg, the weak meridian
will feel sore while getting the necessary exercise; and as this
happens, the corresponding organs of these meridians and their
path-ways, start getting the necessary tuning. This method can focus
or concentrate the awareness, and channel the body's qi to the foot.
Daily practice of Jin Ji Du Li, can help in healing many illnesses or
diseases. Diseases appear in the body because the coordination between the
various internal organs encounter problems and that causes the body to
lose its balance. Jin Ji Du Li can readjust this inter-relationship of
the organs and how they function with each other.
The beneficial effects of practicing Jin Ji Du Li on various illnesses
associated with hypertension, diabetes, neck and spinal diseases are quick to be seen and felt.
Jin Ji Du Li can also prevent gout and is the basic cure for "cold feet disease" .
It can also strengthen the body's immunity.
As you gain ability to stand for longer, the feeling of "head
heavy, light feet" disappears. As benefits of practicing Jin Ji Du Li,
you will notice that the quality of sleep improves, the mind
clears up and memory improves significantly. Most importantly if you
can practice Jin Ji Du Li with your eyes closed for 1 minute every
day, you will not get dementia (and your brain will remain healthy).
Jin Ji Du Li is suitable for everyone generally. You do not have to wait
until you have any illnesses to start practicing it.
I don't do yoga but I can improve my Jin Ji Du Li.
Monday, February 20, 2012
#48 - Time Flies By When...
It has been several days since I last posted.
Life had me preoccupied...all good things.
Thursday was all about getting things done ... at my "regular" job; coming home at a decent hour - 6 pm - to prepare dinner; cleaning/tidying the house while gathering and organizing stuff for our garage sale.
Friday was about finishing the week at my day job and then going to my weekend job at the club for a 180 person event - a crab feed - which was soooo frenetic.
Saturday was busy. It started with a garage sale at our house with Bonnie, Ana and my other friend Tia. It was great for me because I was able to let go of some very sentimental items. Later that afternoon, we drove to San Jose with Erin, MJ and Ewan. We toured the Winchester Mystery House and had dinner at Left Bank Brassiere - a very nice French restaurant in Santana Row - to celebrate Priscille's 15th birthday. Erin and Priscille explored Santana Row; Rich and Ewan found a bar with cool music and really good margaritas; and MJ and I got silly glasses to wear for the evening at Z Gallerie. It was great fun with very special friends!
Sunday was all about Priscille - it was her birthday! Erin spent the night so the girls hung out and opened gifts while Rich made us some homemade Belgian waffles. Yummmm! Later Priscille got a mani-pedi and in the evening she and her friends went to dinner at Chevy's and then to Priscille and Erin's first "Glow" - an under 18 nightclub event. They got home at 11:30. I think I did pretty well with letting go and placing trust in my daughter and the Universe.
Today is now about reassessing. We have a holiday... an extra day to chill...no work....all relaxation. I have actually scheduled a financial planning webinar for myself so I am looking forward to that. But beyond that? I get a day to relax....after I get Priscille and her friends - the ones who spent the night - situated with breakfast and all. And then it is a chill out dinner with Ana and Bonnie.
Tomorrow? I have taken an extra extra day off. Priscille has an orthodontic appointment in the middle of the day. More importantly, though, I will be driving to Point Reyes in the early afternoon to meet with the lead investigator and the park ranger who found my former roommate and very dear friend Gary's car that he had abandoned before he committed suicide there back in July 2009. Note that I did not hear about this until a few months ago. His brother, Richard, who lives in Hawaii, tried looking for me when it happened but was unsuccessful. I eventually connected up with him in November 2011 when I found out.
Time flies when life ...and death...happen.
Life had me preoccupied...all good things.
Thursday was all about getting things done ... at my "regular" job; coming home at a decent hour - 6 pm - to prepare dinner; cleaning/tidying the house while gathering and organizing stuff for our garage sale.
Friday was about finishing the week at my day job and then going to my weekend job at the club for a 180 person event - a crab feed - which was soooo frenetic.
Saturday was busy. It started with a garage sale at our house with Bonnie, Ana and my other friend Tia. It was great for me because I was able to let go of some very sentimental items. Later that afternoon, we drove to San Jose with Erin, MJ and Ewan. We toured the Winchester Mystery House and had dinner at Left Bank Brassiere - a very nice French restaurant in Santana Row - to celebrate Priscille's 15th birthday. Erin and Priscille explored Santana Row; Rich and Ewan found a bar with cool music and really good margaritas; and MJ and I got silly glasses to wear for the evening at Z Gallerie. It was great fun with very special friends!
Sunday was all about Priscille - it was her birthday! Erin spent the night so the girls hung out and opened gifts while Rich made us some homemade Belgian waffles. Yummmm! Later Priscille got a mani-pedi and in the evening she and her friends went to dinner at Chevy's and then to Priscille and Erin's first "Glow" - an under 18 nightclub event. They got home at 11:30. I think I did pretty well with letting go and placing trust in my daughter and the Universe.
Today is now about reassessing. We have a holiday... an extra day to chill...no work....all relaxation. I have actually scheduled a financial planning webinar for myself so I am looking forward to that. But beyond that? I get a day to relax....after I get Priscille and her friends - the ones who spent the night - situated with breakfast and all. And then it is a chill out dinner with Ana and Bonnie.
Tomorrow? I have taken an extra extra day off. Priscille has an orthodontic appointment in the middle of the day. More importantly, though, I will be driving to Point Reyes in the early afternoon to meet with the lead investigator and the park ranger who found my former roommate and very dear friend Gary's car that he had abandoned before he committed suicide there back in July 2009. Note that I did not hear about this until a few months ago. His brother, Richard, who lives in Hawaii, tried looking for me when it happened but was unsuccessful. I eventually connected up with him in November 2011 when I found out.
Time flies when life ...and death...happen.
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
#47 - Guilty By Association
Do not stand by me.
I am professional.
I respect others.
I listen with a compassionate ear and an open heart.
I steer you into the positive light.
I am kind and generous.
The big picture includes everyone.
My world doesn't matter when I'm focused on you.
I encourage individual growth and team betterment.
I am happy.
I work with the bottom line and with the people.
Stand by me when you represent the goodness in all.
I am professional.
I respect others.
I listen with a compassionate ear and an open heart.
I steer you into the positive light.
I am kind and generous.
The big picture includes everyone.
My world doesn't matter when I'm focused on you.
I encourage individual growth and team betterment.
I am happy.
I work with the bottom line and with the people.
Stand by me when you represent the goodness in all.
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
#46 - Love
“Love is patient and kind. It does not envy, nor boast. It is not proud. It is not rude. It does not seek its own way, is not easily angered, and keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not rejoice in evil, but rejoices in the truth. Love believes, hopes and endures. Love never fails.”
- First Corinthians 13
This is how God responds to us... with patience, kindness, hope, humility and love.
That is how we can respond to the people in our lives.
Happy Valentine's Day, friends!
I love, honor and respect you all! And I totally believe in you!
- First Corinthians 13
This is how God responds to us... with patience, kindness, hope, humility and love.
That is how we can respond to the people in our lives.
Happy Valentine's Day, friends!
I love, honor and respect you all! And I totally believe in you!
Sunday, February 12, 2012
#45 - New Relationships
When you truly and honestly release your self-imposed as well as your own interpretation of societal's boundaries, a whole new world of relationships and experiences begin to materialize.
In my mind, I had often made judgements and/or placed labels on others before getting to know them.
Stereotypes overwhelmed my mind and heart and I was blinded to the beauty of others.
Today I chose to release my wall of insecurities and made new friends.
I met one woman in particular with whom I would like to pursue a friendship. In our conversation, I learned that she possessed similar values, opinions and experiences as my own. I liked her energy. Another woman I introduced myself to was so genuine, warm and friendly.
Opening up my mind and heart was freeing and easy.
I am enjoying the journey.
In my mind, I had often made judgements and/or placed labels on others before getting to know them.
Stereotypes overwhelmed my mind and heart and I was blinded to the beauty of others.
Today I chose to release my wall of insecurities and made new friends.
I met one woman in particular with whom I would like to pursue a friendship. In our conversation, I learned that she possessed similar values, opinions and experiences as my own. I liked her energy. Another woman I introduced myself to was so genuine, warm and friendly.
Opening up my mind and heart was freeing and easy.
I am enjoying the journey.
Friday, February 10, 2012
Thursday, February 9, 2012
#44 - How To Stop Negative Thoughts
Just wanted to share something from The Secret...
'"How do I stop my negative thoughts?" - is a question that I have been asked many times. If you have ever asked this question then you will feel such enormous relief in knowing the answer, because it is so simple. How do you stop negative thoughts? You plant good thoughts!
When you try to stop negative thoughts, you are focusing on what you don't want - negative thoughts - and you will attract an abundance of them. They can never disappear if you are focused on them. The "stop" part is irrelevant - the negative thoughts are your focus. It doesn't matter if you are trying to stop negative thoughts or control them or push them away, the result is the same. Your focus is on negative thoughts, and by the law of attraction you are inviting more of them to you.
The truth is always simple and it is always easy. To stop negative thoughts, just plant good thoughts! Deliberately plant good thoughts! You plant good thoughts by making it a daily practice to appreciate all the things in your day. Appreciate your health, your car, your home, your family, your job, your friends, your surroundings, your meals, your pets, and the magnificent beauty of the day. Compliment, praise, and give thanks to all things. Every time you say "Thank you" it is a good thought! As you plant more and more good thoughts, the negative thoughts will be wiped out. Why? Because your focus is on good thoughts, and what you focus on you attract.
So don't give any attention to negative thoughts. Don't worry about them. If any come, make light of them, shrug them off, and let them be your reminder to deliberately think more good thoughts now.
The more good thoughts you can plant in a day, the faster your life will be utterly transformed into all good. If you spend only one day speaking of good things and saying "Thank you" at every single opportunity, you will not believe your tomorrow. Deliberately thinking good thoughts is exactly like planting seeds. As you think good thoughts you are planting good seeds inside you, and the Universe will transform those seeds into a garden of paradise. How will the garden of paradise appear? As your life!"'
A Secret Scrolls message from Rhonda Byrne
Creator of The Secret and The Power
'"How do I stop my negative thoughts?" - is a question that I have been asked many times. If you have ever asked this question then you will feel such enormous relief in knowing the answer, because it is so simple. How do you stop negative thoughts? You plant good thoughts!
When you try to stop negative thoughts, you are focusing on what you don't want - negative thoughts - and you will attract an abundance of them. They can never disappear if you are focused on them. The "stop" part is irrelevant - the negative thoughts are your focus. It doesn't matter if you are trying to stop negative thoughts or control them or push them away, the result is the same. Your focus is on negative thoughts, and by the law of attraction you are inviting more of them to you.
The truth is always simple and it is always easy. To stop negative thoughts, just plant good thoughts! Deliberately plant good thoughts! You plant good thoughts by making it a daily practice to appreciate all the things in your day. Appreciate your health, your car, your home, your family, your job, your friends, your surroundings, your meals, your pets, and the magnificent beauty of the day. Compliment, praise, and give thanks to all things. Every time you say "Thank you" it is a good thought! As you plant more and more good thoughts, the negative thoughts will be wiped out. Why? Because your focus is on good thoughts, and what you focus on you attract.
So don't give any attention to negative thoughts. Don't worry about them. If any come, make light of them, shrug them off, and let them be your reminder to deliberately think more good thoughts now.
The more good thoughts you can plant in a day, the faster your life will be utterly transformed into all good. If you spend only one day speaking of good things and saying "Thank you" at every single opportunity, you will not believe your tomorrow. Deliberately thinking good thoughts is exactly like planting seeds. As you think good thoughts you are planting good seeds inside you, and the Universe will transform those seeds into a garden of paradise. How will the garden of paradise appear? As your life!"'
A Secret Scrolls message from Rhonda Byrne
Creator of The Secret and The Power
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
#43 - The Secret Book Club
My coworkers and I are starting The Secret book club.
It's exciting to be with others who want to fully understand and to genuinely live the law of attraction. It's exciting to find others who understand the simplicity and the complexities of this concept.
Our first meeting is tomorrow. Can't wait!
p.s. I visited a friend this evening. She said I looked happy. I am. I really am happy. :-)
It's exciting to be with others who want to fully understand and to genuinely live the law of attraction. It's exciting to find others who understand the simplicity and the complexities of this concept.
Our first meeting is tomorrow. Can't wait!
p.s. I visited a friend this evening. She said I looked happy. I am. I really am happy. :-)
Releasing attachments
In my yoga class a teacher explained we got our hydration from the water we drank 40 min before the session. . .not what we were drinking in class.
Today I forgot my water, but I did listen to my teacher and had prepared for class. I even drank the modern equivalent of castor oil . . .coconut water.
I had a great session! I'm really buying into the idea of not becoming attached to things that don't really matter.
Like the need for water in a freakin' 117 degree room, we make false assumptions every day. Even when we know we are right, we bow to pressure. The hardest part of class was setting up with the people on both sides of me "outwardly" noticing that I didn't have water. I didn't bother to explain then and I've decided in the future I don't need to explain so many decisions I make that social custom doesn't get.
Today I forgot my water, but I did listen to my teacher and had prepared for class. I even drank the modern equivalent of castor oil . . .coconut water.
I had a great session! I'm really buying into the idea of not becoming attached to things that don't really matter.
Like the need for water in a freakin' 117 degree room, we make false assumptions every day. Even when we know we are right, we bow to pressure. The hardest part of class was setting up with the people on both sides of me "outwardly" noticing that I didn't have water. I didn't bother to explain then and I've decided in the future I don't need to explain so many decisions I make that social custom doesn't get.
Monday, February 6, 2012
#42 - Money
I really don't know what to say about money because this is such a personal issue.
The chapter on money in The Secret is so interesting!
My money mantra is taped to my computer at work."Money comes to me easily, effortlessly and frequently."
I did get money in the mail today. That was unexpected...but not really. I did put it out into the Universe.
More later.
The chapter on money in The Secret is so interesting!
My money mantra is taped to my computer at work."Money comes to me easily, effortlessly and frequently."
I did get money in the mail today. That was unexpected...but not really. I did put it out into the Universe.
More later.
Sunday, February 5, 2012
#41 - Don't Fit In..and Jump Off Cliffs!
"Don't Fit In!"
That's what Christine D. wrote on the grafitti ceiling of the Road Trip Nation RV. She was one of the people the Road Trip Nation (a PBS/KQED show) team interviewed on their journey across America. Their mission was to use the time and experience to individually discover their true meaning and purpose in life.
Christine D. is an attorney in New Orleans. Born in Jamaica and raised in Canada, her close-knit family tried to stop her from going to a college located outside of Canada - Cornell University - by doing an intervention. She looked at them and said "I love you all and I understand what you are trying to do but none of you are living the life that I want to live." Her journey was based on fulfilling her passions by listening to the little voice inside .... the voice that constantly kept her in check with the question "Am I being fulfilled right now?" Don't fit in! Jump off cliffs! She believes that you have to keep jumping off cliffs to experience, to learn about and to try new things. The scary part is the idea of the cliff; but "when you jump off," she says, "the ground comes up to meet you and the fall is not as bad as you thought it would be." And even if what you pursue is a mistake after two, three, or whatever amount of years and time, you will still have gained knowledge and experience to add to your resume...to your bank of life. Then you go and jump off another cliff.
Are YOU being fulfilled right now? Are there "cliffs" nearby?
That's what Christine D. wrote on the grafitti ceiling of the Road Trip Nation RV. She was one of the people the Road Trip Nation (a PBS/KQED show) team interviewed on their journey across America. Their mission was to use the time and experience to individually discover their true meaning and purpose in life.
Christine D. is an attorney in New Orleans. Born in Jamaica and raised in Canada, her close-knit family tried to stop her from going to a college located outside of Canada - Cornell University - by doing an intervention. She looked at them and said "I love you all and I understand what you are trying to do but none of you are living the life that I want to live." Her journey was based on fulfilling her passions by listening to the little voice inside .... the voice that constantly kept her in check with the question "Am I being fulfilled right now?" Don't fit in! Jump off cliffs! She believes that you have to keep jumping off cliffs to experience, to learn about and to try new things. The scary part is the idea of the cliff; but "when you jump off," she says, "the ground comes up to meet you and the fall is not as bad as you thought it would be." And even if what you pursue is a mistake after two, three, or whatever amount of years and time, you will still have gained knowledge and experience to add to your resume...to your bank of life. Then you go and jump off another cliff.
Are YOU being fulfilled right now? Are there "cliffs" nearby?
Saturday, February 4, 2012
#40 - Passion
What excites you? What do you love to do so much that you just can't stop talking about it?
I know that I like seeing happy people doing happy and fun things. I think that's one of the reasons I keep my weekend job at the club. I work at happy events and am surrounded by happy people there....both on my team as well as the party guests!
On the other professional front, I saw a job description that called to me on some level. A company was looking for someone who was highly motivated, confident, had exceptional people skills, organized, a leader, and someone who genuinely cared about helping people. It also had some of the elements of my ideal work environment - positive, fast paced, team and customer service oriented. I would add "creative" and "fun" to the description, of course. No, I'm not looking for a new job but I like to look at what other work environments and job specs exist outside of my world. I also like to see what other companies are doing to ensure positive work environments for their employees. Being that I am in human resources, it is helpful to understand what the competition has to offer as well as to get ideas on improving the status quo.
On the personal front, I got excited when I saw a commercial for the upcoming 2012 Summer Olympics. It flashed on a picture of The Great Wall of China (an attraction at the 2008 Summer Olympics). I turned to Rich and said that I was putting that on my list of places to visit. He asked, "Is that before or after Machu Picchu?" Love it! I am also looking forward to our family's upcoming European trip this summer. We'll be there right before the Olympics take place. My next door neighbors spent a month traveling around Europe in a VW van for their honeymoon (many many years ago). How cute is that?! Talk about passion (on so many levels! ha ha!) And they recently brought over a whole bunch of albums and books for us to use in our planning and research for this family vacation.
Honestly, though, I need to further define and explore my true passions. What excites me? What do I love to do so much that I just can't stop talking about it? If I had all the time and money in the world, (and that is possible, you know!), what would I do? Hmmm...... and how would I go about fulfilling my passions?
I need some ideas. What are your passions? If you had all the time and money in the world, (and that is possible, you know!), what would you do? How would you go about fulfilling your passions?
I know that I like seeing happy people doing happy and fun things. I think that's one of the reasons I keep my weekend job at the club. I work at happy events and am surrounded by happy people there....both on my team as well as the party guests!
On the other professional front, I saw a job description that called to me on some level. A company was looking for someone who was highly motivated, confident, had exceptional people skills, organized, a leader, and someone who genuinely cared about helping people. It also had some of the elements of my ideal work environment - positive, fast paced, team and customer service oriented. I would add "creative" and "fun" to the description, of course. No, I'm not looking for a new job but I like to look at what other work environments and job specs exist outside of my world. I also like to see what other companies are doing to ensure positive work environments for their employees. Being that I am in human resources, it is helpful to understand what the competition has to offer as well as to get ideas on improving the status quo.
On the personal front, I got excited when I saw a commercial for the upcoming 2012 Summer Olympics. It flashed on a picture of The Great Wall of China (an attraction at the 2008 Summer Olympics). I turned to Rich and said that I was putting that on my list of places to visit. He asked, "Is that before or after Machu Picchu?" Love it! I am also looking forward to our family's upcoming European trip this summer. We'll be there right before the Olympics take place. My next door neighbors spent a month traveling around Europe in a VW van for their honeymoon (many many years ago). How cute is that?! Talk about passion (on so many levels! ha ha!) And they recently brought over a whole bunch of albums and books for us to use in our planning and research for this family vacation.
Honestly, though, I need to further define and explore my true passions. What excites me? What do I love to do so much that I just can't stop talking about it? If I had all the time and money in the world, (and that is possible, you know!), what would I do? Hmmm...... and how would I go about fulfilling my passions?
I need some ideas. What are your passions? If you had all the time and money in the world, (and that is possible, you know!), what would you do? How would you go about fulfilling your passions?
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
#39 - We Will Transcend - Shannon's Contribution To Our Blog
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MNY8KL_YSlc&feature=fvsr
This is a video by Kelly Corrigan, one of Shannon's favorite authors.
She is sharing this video as she "finds it to be a touchstone and important reminder that we all have our obstacles but we are all in this together."
"I know a little something about staying strong in the face of negativity/adversity," she says. "It can be tough but our nature is to transcend. That is if we don't let our fears get in the way."
"Stay your strong positive self!", she adds.
You too, Shannon! You too!
Thank you, Girl Friend! You're so beautiful, kind, and very insightful!
Thank you for your email.
Hope to hear more from you soon.
xoxo
This is a video by Kelly Corrigan, one of Shannon's favorite authors.
She is sharing this video as she "finds it to be a touchstone and important reminder that we all have our obstacles but we are all in this together."
"I know a little something about staying strong in the face of negativity/adversity," she says. "It can be tough but our nature is to transcend. That is if we don't let our fears get in the way."
"Stay your strong positive self!", she adds.
You too, Shannon! You too!
Thank you, Girl Friend! You're so beautiful, kind, and very insightful!
Thank you for your email.
Hope to hear more from you soon.
xoxo
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