A coworker said that I was "too nice" and that she didn't want anyone to "take advantage of my niceness." To that I said, "Why not? I want to be kind and I want to do the right thing." I told her that if someone stabs me in the back, then the right thing to do is to forgive them but to not forget what was done. (That would be stupid on my part.)
I totally believe that what goes around comes around and that niceness begets niceness. If I can touch one person and help them to to be kinder to another person, then I am doing the right thing. When my niceness is criticized or when someone wants to squash my positive energy, I carry on. I stand in my truth.
Life is too short to carry negative energy. There is so much to be thankful for.There are so many interesting people ... and more people for us to meet. People want to feel acknowledged and appreciated. The world is a much better place when people are uplifted and encouraged.
My truth is that I will treat others with kindness, honor and respect regardless of how they treat me. It is easy to be nice and sometimes a little more challenging with some people, but in the end, I will know that I remained true to my core.
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Sunday, January 29, 2012
Release Your Attachments
My friend and I went to Bikram Yoga yesterday and today after a loooooong break. Our goal was to make it through the class which can get very hot.
My friend survived by frequently pouring water on her head, until the teacher called her on it. Not, because she should not have taken breaks, but because the water had become an attachment that took her focus from being in the moment with her yoga practice.
She called all of us to release our attachments that prevented us from being in the moment.
I gave up the attachment of comparison. I was comparing my performance to everyone else in the room. . .with every pose putting myself in a rank against all others in the room, rather than concentrating on the pose. I no longer cared that I don't have the greatest body, but in my pose focused on muscles I have managed to maintain. With time, the picture will get even better.
After class my friend and I talked about that moment. She said at first she was embarrassed, but then quickly realize the teacher was correct, and it was freeing.
I'm up for a big promotion and I've been stressing out over how I'm going to manage some situations. However, I know I won't be able to fix them in yoga class so I need to release that attachment to "doing well," being the "fixer." Consciously dropping that attachment allowed me to refuel my brain.
What attachment do you have to release to simply BE in the moment?
My friend survived by frequently pouring water on her head, until the teacher called her on it. Not, because she should not have taken breaks, but because the water had become an attachment that took her focus from being in the moment with her yoga practice.
She called all of us to release our attachments that prevented us from being in the moment.
I gave up the attachment of comparison. I was comparing my performance to everyone else in the room. . .with every pose putting myself in a rank against all others in the room, rather than concentrating on the pose. I no longer cared that I don't have the greatest body, but in my pose focused on muscles I have managed to maintain. With time, the picture will get even better.
After class my friend and I talked about that moment. She said at first she was embarrassed, but then quickly realize the teacher was correct, and it was freeing.
I'm up for a big promotion and I've been stressing out over how I'm going to manage some situations. However, I know I won't be able to fix them in yoga class so I need to release that attachment to "doing well," being the "fixer." Consciously dropping that attachment allowed me to refuel my brain.
What attachment do you have to release to simply BE in the moment?
#37 - Scary, Real and Esoteric
I went to an event last night with the friendly natives. It was a small and intimate group setting. Very nice and fun loving people.
The scary part? I got bored and had never felt the sensation as strongly as I did last night! It was scary because the perspective was real and so suddenly in my face. I just didn't want to work as hard as I used to ... to try to fit in.
It's scary that I can't fully grasp the change that's happening in me. There are so many unknown factors. Cognitively, I can attach many possible and accurate speculations and hypotheses to the shift. Viscerally, it just feels so deep, complex, and life altering.
I am paying close attention to this.
I know that I am creating a different and esoteric reality.
"The Universe is rearranging itself accordingly." - The Secret
...like when I graduated from the eighth grade and made a conscious decision not to hang out with my grammar school friends and to make new friends in high school....like when I decided that I was done with my life in Hawaii and moved to San Francisco with 8 boxes and $200 in my pocket...like when I removed myself from my marital situation to reassess and revisit the reasons why God put us together.
It's all good!
"Life is good."
"Life is easy."
"All good things come to me."
What shifts in your mind and in your situations have created scary yet real and exciting life experiences for you? How did you get to San Francisco?
The scary part? I got bored and had never felt the sensation as strongly as I did last night! It was scary because the perspective was real and so suddenly in my face. I just didn't want to work as hard as I used to ... to try to fit in.
It's scary that I can't fully grasp the change that's happening in me. There are so many unknown factors. Cognitively, I can attach many possible and accurate speculations and hypotheses to the shift. Viscerally, it just feels so deep, complex, and life altering.
I am paying close attention to this.
I know that I am creating a different and esoteric reality.
"The Universe is rearranging itself accordingly." - The Secret
...like when I graduated from the eighth grade and made a conscious decision not to hang out with my grammar school friends and to make new friends in high school....like when I decided that I was done with my life in Hawaii and moved to San Francisco with 8 boxes and $200 in my pocket...like when I removed myself from my marital situation to reassess and revisit the reasons why God put us together.
It's all good!
"Life is good."
"Life is easy."
"All good things come to me."
What shifts in your mind and in your situations have created scary yet real and exciting life experiences for you? How did you get to San Francisco?
Friday, January 27, 2012
Think Older
Research shows (http://www.fyiliving.com/mental-health/anxiety/mid-life-crisis-and-the-letter-u/) that happiness is highest when we're youngest and and oldest - and dips to the lowest between 45 and 50.
Statistically we peak happiness at 70 or so.
We should start thinking like we're 70.
Are we at the bottom of the "U"?
Statistically we peak happiness at 70 or so.
We should start thinking like we're 70.
Are we at the bottom of the "U"?
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
#36 - The Power of THE SECRET - A Makeover!
"Life is good."
"Life is easy."
"All good things come to me."
Since I started reading The Secret, I have made very conscious efforts to constantly speak my vision to the Universe - to attract what I want into my life.
"I treat others with kindness, honor, and respect. I quickly choose forgiveness."
In the past 5+ years, I have had to deal with difficult and negative situations at work. These were situations in which I'd feel so anxiety-ridden going in and so defeated coming out. In the past couple of weeks, however, since applying the principles of The Secret to my life, I have felt joyful and empowered! I have come out of these negative work situations feeling amazed at how easily and effortlessly I was able to slay the dragons and demons! This has been such an unbelievable transformation for me and it is only just the beginning.
Another example of how The Secret is working in my life is in my recent encounter with a professional image consultant. She is now giving me a wardrobe makeover. This beautiful and stunning woman, a friend of a friend, works as a temp at my place of employment. She and her sisters have a successful image consulting business in Ohio. She normally charges $100/hour but said that she wanted to do it for me for free. Really? How generous is that?! This woman is absolutely beautiful! She dresses so smartly and wears her style and elegance well! So... today I took my lifestyle and personality assessment. Tomorrow she wants to work on "dressing my silhouette" and incorporating a color palette. Everything I've been wearing to work this week has been wrong! ha! ha! I love it!
I am so in awe with this new found path!
I am amazed at the beautiful and generous people who have recently entered my life.
Now I easily embrace and express my gratitude to the negative energy around me. Without that, I could not have rediscovered my joyful and positive self.
"Life is good."
"Life is easy."
"All good things come to me."
"Life is easy."
"All good things come to me."
Since I started reading The Secret, I have made very conscious efforts to constantly speak my vision to the Universe - to attract what I want into my life.
"I treat others with kindness, honor, and respect. I quickly choose forgiveness."
In the past 5+ years, I have had to deal with difficult and negative situations at work. These were situations in which I'd feel so anxiety-ridden going in and so defeated coming out. In the past couple of weeks, however, since applying the principles of The Secret to my life, I have felt joyful and empowered! I have come out of these negative work situations feeling amazed at how easily and effortlessly I was able to slay the dragons and demons! This has been such an unbelievable transformation for me and it is only just the beginning.
Another example of how The Secret is working in my life is in my recent encounter with a professional image consultant. She is now giving me a wardrobe makeover. This beautiful and stunning woman, a friend of a friend, works as a temp at my place of employment. She and her sisters have a successful image consulting business in Ohio. She normally charges $100/hour but said that she wanted to do it for me for free. Really? How generous is that?! This woman is absolutely beautiful! She dresses so smartly and wears her style and elegance well! So... today I took my lifestyle and personality assessment. Tomorrow she wants to work on "dressing my silhouette" and incorporating a color palette. Everything I've been wearing to work this week has been wrong! ha! ha! I love it!
I am so in awe with this new found path!
I am amazed at the beautiful and generous people who have recently entered my life.
Now I easily embrace and express my gratitude to the negative energy around me. Without that, I could not have rediscovered my joyful and positive self.
"Life is good."
"Life is easy."
"All good things come to me."
#35 - Bonnie's Blog
http://www.bzmacaraig.blogspot.com
This is great, Bonnie!
Will you be writing about your life in San Bruno?
This is great, Bonnie!
Will you be writing about your life in San Bruno?
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Monday, January 23, 2012
#33 - "There They Go Again...Talking About The Same Old Stuff."
Gary and I went to a crab feed the other night. It was great catching up with friends at this fund raiser.
I was at the bar when Gary came up and said "There they go again...talking about the same old stuff."
I got it. I knew exactly what he meant!
Unfortunately I was unable to rescue him immediately from his group of comrades. I was keeping the lonely bartender company...and talking to the other natives while they waited for their drinks.
I did, however, manage to help him soften the bite to his cocktail. Lots of 7-up ... and a bigger cup... works wonders!
How was the rest of your evening, Gary? You looked restless at your table.
And I didn't see you "parking on the dance floor."
And I was also expecting to see you in West Portal later. You missed out on Giovanna's and my (mostly Giovanna's) "karaoke" - singing along with the juke box - to Lisa Lisa and Cult Jam's "Head To Toe" and B McGov's and my (mostly McGov's, of course) "Desperado." We were desperately looking for "YMCA" to irritate The Bart. No luck! Good times! Good times!
I was the only Transplant there at the bar though....sigh.....
I was at the bar when Gary came up and said "There they go again...talking about the same old stuff."
I got it. I knew exactly what he meant!
Unfortunately I was unable to rescue him immediately from his group of comrades. I was keeping the lonely bartender company...and talking to the other natives while they waited for their drinks.
I did, however, manage to help him soften the bite to his cocktail. Lots of 7-up ... and a bigger cup... works wonders!
How was the rest of your evening, Gary? You looked restless at your table.
And I didn't see you "parking on the dance floor."
And I was also expecting to see you in West Portal later. You missed out on Giovanna's and my (mostly Giovanna's) "karaoke" - singing along with the juke box - to Lisa Lisa and Cult Jam's "Head To Toe" and B McGov's and my (mostly McGov's, of course) "Desperado." We were desperately looking for "YMCA" to irritate The Bart. No luck! Good times! Good times!
I was the only Transplant there at the bar though....sigh.....
Sunday, January 22, 2012
#32 - Moral of the Porcupine
I saw this story somewhere and wanted to share it with you.
"It was the coldest winter ever. Many animals died because of the cold.
The porcupines, realizing the situation, decided to group together to keep warm. This way they covered and protected themselves; but the quills of each one wounded their closest companions.
After a while, they decided to distance themselves one from the other and they began to die, alone and frozen. So they had to make a choice: either accept the quills of their companions or disappear from the earth. Wisely, they decided to go back to being together. They learned to live with the little wounds caused by the close relationship with their companions in order to receive the heat that came from the others. This way they were able to survive.
The best relationship is not the one that brings together perfect people, but when each individual learns to live with the imperfections of others and can admire the other person's good qualities.
The moral of the story is:
Just learn to live with the pricks in your life!"
OR....travel outside of the forest and start new and meaningful relationships with different animals. Find a cave, build a fire, share some beers and huddle together to stay warm!
"It was the coldest winter ever. Many animals died because of the cold.
The porcupines, realizing the situation, decided to group together to keep warm. This way they covered and protected themselves; but the quills of each one wounded their closest companions.
After a while, they decided to distance themselves one from the other and they began to die, alone and frozen. So they had to make a choice: either accept the quills of their companions or disappear from the earth. Wisely, they decided to go back to being together. They learned to live with the little wounds caused by the close relationship with their companions in order to receive the heat that came from the others. This way they were able to survive.
The best relationship is not the one that brings together perfect people, but when each individual learns to live with the imperfections of others and can admire the other person's good qualities.
The moral of the story is:
Just learn to live with the pricks in your life!"
OR....travel outside of the forest and start new and meaningful relationships with different animals. Find a cave, build a fire, share some beers and huddle together to stay warm!
#31 - Gary's Got a Blog!
Excellent!
Kudos to Gary for exploring, honoring and cultivating his literary gift.
http://schmittforbrains.blogspot.com/
Who's next?
We all have so much to share!
Love it!
Kudos to Gary for exploring, honoring and cultivating his literary gift.
http://schmittforbrains.blogspot.com/
Who's next?
We all have so much to share!
Love it!
Friday, January 20, 2012
#30 - Take Your Life Back!
Take Your Life Back |
“...take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ” |
(2 Corinthians 10:5, NIV) |
Everyone has days when they feel like life is out of control. Oftentimes, this happens when we allow our circumstances to dictate our thoughts and attitudes. You might say, “Well, Joel, the economy is wreaking havoc on my business,” or “This relationship is just too far gone.” But I say, today is the day to take your life back! You take your life back by choosing to take your thoughts back. Even though we live in this natural realm, as believers, we are not limited by this natural realm. We can tap into God’s power by making every thought line up with the Word of God. We don’t have to let circumstances control us. Instead, meditate on His Word and let His truth set you free! Today, as you take captive every thought and boldly declare His promises over your life, you are setting yourself up for victory. You are positioning yourself to partake of His blessing. You are taking your life back and positioning yourself to embrace the abundant life He has prepared for you! |
PRAYER |
Heavenly Father, thank You for empowering me to live in victory today. I choose to take my life back by taking captive every thought and submitting it to You. Help me live a life that is pleasing to You, Jesus, today and every day in Jesus’ name, Amen. |
— Joel & Victoria Osteen |
Thursday, January 19, 2012
#29 - Dealing With Anger
I eat!
And then I feel sick to my stomach because I've stuffed down my feelings!!
And then I get angry at myself!
I really should be angry at the people or situation that got me angry.
Why am I hurting myself when someone or something has already hurt me???!!
I'm doubling up on the pain already exerted upon me!
I know that my pain tolerance is high but this is not healthy on so many levels!
This is not right.
I need to make it right.
I think I'll karaoke ... On Demand....
Then I'll crank up the music and perfect my dance moves!!!
Turn the other cheek.
Know that payback, I mean karma, is a b****!
Move forward.
Problem solved.
And then I feel sick to my stomach because I've stuffed down my feelings!!
And then I get angry at myself!
I really should be angry at the people or situation that got me angry.
Why am I hurting myself when someone or something has already hurt me???!!
I'm doubling up on the pain already exerted upon me!
I know that my pain tolerance is high but this is not healthy on so many levels!
This is not right.
I need to make it right.
I think I'll karaoke ... On Demand....
Then I'll crank up the music and perfect my dance moves!!!
Turn the other cheek.
Know that payback, I mean karma, is a b****!
Move forward.
Problem solved.
What Would You Add?
I found this interesting. . .
"Creativity is paradoxical. To create, a person must have knowledge but forget the knowledge, must see unexpected connections in things but not have a mental disorder, must work hard but spend time doing nothing as information incubates, must create many ideas yet most of them are useless, must look at the same thing as everyone else, yet see something different, must desire success but embrace failure, must be persistent but not stubborn, and must listen to experts but know how to disregard them."
I would add, '. . .yet "see" something different that she cannot see, and intrepret what he can barely comprehend."
What would you add?
"Creativity is paradoxical. To create, a person must have knowledge but forget the knowledge, must see unexpected connections in things but not have a mental disorder, must work hard but spend time doing nothing as information incubates, must create many ideas yet most of them are useless, must look at the same thing as everyone else, yet see something different, must desire success but embrace failure, must be persistent but not stubborn, and must listen to experts but know how to disregard them."
I would add, '. . .yet "see" something different that she cannot see, and intrepret what he can barely comprehend."
What would you add?
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
#28 - We Get What We Give
"The law of attraction is a law of nature. It is as impartial and impersonal as the law of gravity. It is precise, it is exact. It does not see things as good or bad. It gives us back what we are emitting."
Our similar situations - our thoughts, our words, our feelings - have emitted frequencies into the Universe and have intertwined with each other. You know the saying ... the one about being on the same wave length? We were bound to find each other.
We are living The Secret.
"You create your own universe as you go along."
- Winston Churchill
Our similar situations - our thoughts, our words, our feelings - have emitted frequencies into the Universe and have intertwined with each other. You know the saying ... the one about being on the same wave length? We were bound to find each other.
We are living The Secret.
"You create your own universe as you go along."
- Winston Churchill
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
#27 - The Secret
Reading The Secret now.
Has anyone read this book yet? Or seen the dvd?
The Secret is the law of attraction. You attract what you think. Your thoughts and words form your world.
Positive! Positive! Positive thoughts always! Each thought plants a seed.
I want to attract positive things into my life for sure!!
I want to be in a fulfilling job that allows me to travel nationally as well as internationally. I want to work with kind, warm and sincere, caring and genuine, respectful, uplifting, fun and adventureous, curious, intelligent, and team-oriented individuals. I want to be strong, svelte and fit! I want lots of time and money that I can generously share with others. I want to visit my family and friends in Hawaii often....and hang out at "my private beach." I want to have GREAT relationships with the people currently in my life and with the many others I will meet along the way.
What positive things do you want to attract into your life?
Still learning about The Secret....will share more later...
Has anyone read this book yet? Or seen the dvd?
The Secret is the law of attraction. You attract what you think. Your thoughts and words form your world.
Positive! Positive! Positive thoughts always! Each thought plants a seed.
I want to attract positive things into my life for sure!!
I want to be in a fulfilling job that allows me to travel nationally as well as internationally. I want to work with kind, warm and sincere, caring and genuine, respectful, uplifting, fun and adventureous, curious, intelligent, and team-oriented individuals. I want to be strong, svelte and fit! I want lots of time and money that I can generously share with others. I want to visit my family and friends in Hawaii often....and hang out at "my private beach." I want to have GREAT relationships with the people currently in my life and with the many others I will meet along the way.
What positive things do you want to attract into your life?
Still learning about The Secret....will share more later...
Monday, January 16, 2012
#26 - Complacency and Mediocrity - Life at 10%
Talks of company lay offs began occurring at my job in August of last year. Although I am probably not on the list (knock on wood), it has still rattled the core of my being. What if I am on the list and they're not telling me yet? How will I survive? How I could possibly change careers at my age? Now what am I supposed to do? That pit in my stomach churned and burned and made me sick and immobile. And then fear and the survival mode kicked in! It became one of the wake up calls I needed! (I'm a snooze alarm person!)
I realized that I had become complacent. I had accepted mediocrity in almost every area of my life. I had adopted the attitude that this was how I should be living. After all, it's been working. My life in San Francisco with its "predetermined expectations" is comfortable enough.
But what's the pay off? The positve pay offs are numerous but is the price worth the weight gain and how exhausted, lethargic, emotional, irritable and anxious I am all the time? (What!? No, Tom Cleary, I am not always a "Rey of Sunshine!") Is this really where and how I want to be? Maybe this just doesn't work anymore. Or maybe it works for now but there is still more for me to do. Maybe this is all part of the trade off....for now.
For whatever reason, I have grown accustomed to the low degree of effort I have been putting into fulfilling my own personal potential. I was raised to always strive to be better yet here I am ....right now.
I believe I need to pull up my big girl underwear (the sexy ones, of course!) and get going! If they say that we only use 10% of our potential, then what kind of life would I be living if I was at 20%? 50%? 100%? If I gave myself the chance to change something... to reach further ...dream bigger, what would my life be like?
If failure is not an option, then I need to speak positive affirmations and release the negative self-talk. If failure is not an option, then I have to speak my goals and dreams into existence.
If I am getting out of my own way and visualizing my world outside of the box in which I exist, then the fear of failure and the fear of the unknown will not stand in my way!
What I will say for right now is that I am loving this journey. Although scary and uncomfortable at times, I relish in the notion that I am moving forward in a positive direction. If I'm only at 10%, then what does 20% ... 50%.... 100%... mean to me?
What about YOU? What is your story with complacency and mediocrity?
If you allow yourself the chance to change something ... to reach further ... dream bigger, what would your life be like at 20%? 50%? 100%?
The world is our oyster!
And I definitely see oysters in the future! Picture this...kicking back under the shade on a warm tropical beach somewhere....grilling oysters on the hibachi...splashing some tobasco and soy sauce on those amazingly delicious bivalve molluscs...and then downing them with a nice cold bottle of beer! Aaaaaaa.......yum! If you like oysters, life is good! If you don't like oysters yet can see yourself kicking back under the shade on a warm tropical beach, then the world is your oyster. Aaaaaa...life is good!
I realized that I had become complacent. I had accepted mediocrity in almost every area of my life. I had adopted the attitude that this was how I should be living. After all, it's been working. My life in San Francisco with its "predetermined expectations" is comfortable enough.
But what's the pay off? The positve pay offs are numerous but is the price worth the weight gain and how exhausted, lethargic, emotional, irritable and anxious I am all the time? (What!? No, Tom Cleary, I am not always a "Rey of Sunshine!") Is this really where and how I want to be? Maybe this just doesn't work anymore. Or maybe it works for now but there is still more for me to do. Maybe this is all part of the trade off....for now.
For whatever reason, I have grown accustomed to the low degree of effort I have been putting into fulfilling my own personal potential. I was raised to always strive to be better yet here I am ....right now.
I believe I need to pull up my big girl underwear (the sexy ones, of course!) and get going! If they say that we only use 10% of our potential, then what kind of life would I be living if I was at 20%? 50%? 100%? If I gave myself the chance to change something... to reach further ...dream bigger, what would my life be like?
If failure is not an option, then I need to speak positive affirmations and release the negative self-talk. If failure is not an option, then I have to speak my goals and dreams into existence.
If I am getting out of my own way and visualizing my world outside of the box in which I exist, then the fear of failure and the fear of the unknown will not stand in my way!
What I will say for right now is that I am loving this journey. Although scary and uncomfortable at times, I relish in the notion that I am moving forward in a positive direction. If I'm only at 10%, then what does 20% ... 50%.... 100%... mean to me?
What about YOU? What is your story with complacency and mediocrity?
If you allow yourself the chance to change something ... to reach further ... dream bigger, what would your life be like at 20%? 50%? 100%?
The world is our oyster!
And I definitely see oysters in the future! Picture this...kicking back under the shade on a warm tropical beach somewhere....grilling oysters on the hibachi...splashing some tobasco and soy sauce on those amazingly delicious bivalve molluscs...and then downing them with a nice cold bottle of beer! Aaaaaaa.......yum! If you like oysters, life is good! If you don't like oysters yet can see yourself kicking back under the shade on a warm tropical beach, then the world is your oyster. Aaaaaa...life is good!
Reflections on Failure.
My writing ideas have been nill until I read Rae's latest post. I fully support the idea of not giving up. However, I wonder if true "failure" is not learning lessons from our "setbacks" along the way to our goals.
I'm reminded of the road trip Rae, Ana and I took back to Nebraska, with a persnickety cat. I wanted to get there! Ana and Rae sought out adventures along the way. We came upon discoveries I would have never encountered without them, like the amazing murals in a roadside gas station. An employee used leftover restoration paint and created the entire Midwest skyline along the walls of the bathrooms. The art work was amazing, and I learned that one can find greatness in the most unusual places.
if I live by my mantra "everything is meant to be" I have to look at those moments where I've "failed" and find the lesson that not only will get me to my goal, but help me keep it for the long-term.
I'm learning that getting to the goal is half the battle. Staying in that zone for the long term is the real test. On this journey I'll consider the stumbling blocks lessons for the long run, so by the time I get to my goal I'll have the stamina to stay there.
I'm reminded of the road trip Rae, Ana and I took back to Nebraska, with a persnickety cat. I wanted to get there! Ana and Rae sought out adventures along the way. We came upon discoveries I would have never encountered without them, like the amazing murals in a roadside gas station. An employee used leftover restoration paint and created the entire Midwest skyline along the walls of the bathrooms. The art work was amazing, and I learned that one can find greatness in the most unusual places.
if I live by my mantra "everything is meant to be" I have to look at those moments where I've "failed" and find the lesson that not only will get me to my goal, but help me keep it for the long-term.
I'm learning that getting to the goal is half the battle. Staying in that zone for the long term is the real test. On this journey I'll consider the stumbling blocks lessons for the long run, so by the time I get to my goal I'll have the stamina to stay there.
Sunday, January 15, 2012
#25 - "Failure Is Not An Option"
"Failure is not an option."
- Chef Robert Irvine
Restaurant Impossible, The Food Network Channel
"If failure is not an option, then ......
... stay focused on the goal.
... my excuses mean nothing.
... it will get done!
... get out of your own way, Reynette Claire!
... get going!"
- 'Rae' Alden
Hawaii/SF Transplant
What about you?
Complete the same sentence.
"If failure is not an option, then........."
- Chef Robert Irvine
Restaurant Impossible, The Food Network Channel
"If failure is not an option, then ......
... stay focused on the goal.
... my excuses mean nothing.
... it will get done!
... get out of your own way, Reynette Claire!
... get going!"
- 'Rae' Alden
Hawaii/SF Transplant
What about you?
Complete the same sentence.
"If failure is not an option, then........."
Saturday, January 14, 2012
#24 - One Year, Seventeen Countries
This is pretty cool.
Just keeping the dream in front of us.....
http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/upshot/around-world-6-237-pictures-235906523.html
Just keeping the dream in front of us.....
http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/upshot/around-world-6-237-pictures-235906523.html
Friday, January 13, 2012
#23 - Little and Fun Ways To Lose Weight
http://screen.yahoo.com/fun-sneaky-ways-to-lose-weight-27815882.html
1. Add 1/4 tsp of raw green powder (wheat grass, barley grass, alfalfa, spinach, acai, etc) to every 8 oz of water. (yum???)
2. Switch out soda with sparkling water and Emergen C (The pomegranate one is good.)
3. Eat protein with every snack and meal i.e. hardboiled egg, string cheese, etc (Now this is sounding like Lite For Life's program.)
4. Buy grass fed meats. These meats contain a fatty acid called CLA which boosts metabolism.
5. Have a slow eating contest with yourself. (I'm already slow. Ha ha!)
6. Change your default reward. Create a NON-FOOD related reward for good and bad days. (hmmm...massages, mani-pedi, go to the movies, get a facial, go zip lining, go rock climbing, get new exercise clothes, use your two long Nerf swords and do a Star Wars fight scene reenactment with a pal, escape in a good book, write a blog, download a free game on your iphone/ipad and play for 60 uninterrupted minutes, download new music for your ipod, go karaoke-ing with a friend or karaoke by yourself with On Demand, put on some fancy underwear and dance in the mirror...hmmmm....)
1. Add 1/4 tsp of raw green powder (wheat grass, barley grass, alfalfa, spinach, acai, etc) to every 8 oz of water. (yum???)
2. Switch out soda with sparkling water and Emergen C (The pomegranate one is good.)
3. Eat protein with every snack and meal i.e. hardboiled egg, string cheese, etc (Now this is sounding like Lite For Life's program.)
4. Buy grass fed meats. These meats contain a fatty acid called CLA which boosts metabolism.
5. Have a slow eating contest with yourself. (I'm already slow. Ha ha!)
6. Change your default reward. Create a NON-FOOD related reward for good and bad days. (hmmm...massages, mani-pedi, go to the movies, get a facial, go zip lining, go rock climbing, get new exercise clothes, use your two long Nerf swords and do a Star Wars fight scene reenactment with a pal, escape in a good book, write a blog, download a free game on your iphone/ipad and play for 60 uninterrupted minutes, download new music for your ipod, go karaoke-ing with a friend or karaoke by yourself with On Demand, put on some fancy underwear and dance in the mirror...hmmmm....)
Thursday, January 12, 2012
#22 - Bonnie, Ewan, and Gary: New Experiences
Bonnie is in Washington D.C. right now and returns tomorrow.
Ewan leaves for New York today and will be there for 2 weeks.
Gary is with Ben in Los Angeles auditioning for Jeopardy!
I wonder what new experiences await them.
Ewan leaves for New York today and will be there for 2 weeks.
Gary is with Ben in Los Angeles auditioning for Jeopardy!
I wonder what new experiences await them.
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
#21 - Purging
GARAGE SALE!
We are having our first garage sale of the year!
Saturday, January 21, 2012 9 am - 3 pm
@ Bonnie's house in San Bruno
We are having our first garage sale of the year!
Saturday, January 21, 2012 9 am - 3 pm
@ Bonnie's house in San Bruno
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
#20 - The Bruce-Mahoney Trophy and Everything About It
While I appreciate honoring Bill Bruce and Jerry Mahoney and the concept of a friendly cross town rivalry, I just can't get into this whole Bruce-Mahoney thing...and I really don't know why. I don't feel any kind of warm or strong connection to either one of these schools but I wholeheartedly support Rich and Priscille with their enthusiasm and attendance at the games and school events. (And they get that I have no interest in participating.)
Funny thing, though. I am a sports enthusiast. I was a high jumper in high school and played intramural sports in college - basketball and softball. I even scaled the 50-foot fence of the swimming pool one night with a girlfriend from my dorm! (oops...that's another story!) I love football, basketball, baseball, swimming, tennis, etc and want to go to a Sharks game and a Raiders game...and would love to see Ewan play rugby one day. Invictus! I played on a coed softball team with Rich once and was recruited to play on an all girls "Dykes On Bikes" softball team too! (and I would have seriously considered it if I wasn't in graduate school at the time.) Love watching playoff games! Go Niners! (and also love the Saints, the Cowboys and the uniform colors of the Jets! Ha ha!) Totally enjoy watching the Olympics. That Jamaican bobsled team is always my favorite! Ha ha! And Quidditch is the best!
But I just can't get into this Bruce-Mahoney thing. I wonder why.
What is your relationship with "The Bruce-Mahoney"?
Funny thing, though. I am a sports enthusiast. I was a high jumper in high school and played intramural sports in college - basketball and softball. I even scaled the 50-foot fence of the swimming pool one night with a girlfriend from my dorm! (oops...that's another story!) I love football, basketball, baseball, swimming, tennis, etc and want to go to a Sharks game and a Raiders game...and would love to see Ewan play rugby one day. Invictus! I played on a coed softball team with Rich once and was recruited to play on an all girls "Dykes On Bikes" softball team too! (and I would have seriously considered it if I wasn't in graduate school at the time.) Love watching playoff games! Go Niners! (and also love the Saints, the Cowboys and the uniform colors of the Jets! Ha ha!) Totally enjoy watching the Olympics. That Jamaican bobsled team is always my favorite! Ha ha! And Quidditch is the best!
But I just can't get into this Bruce-Mahoney thing. I wonder why.
What is your relationship with "The Bruce-Mahoney"?
Monday, January 9, 2012
Death is like Labor
I watched this documentary tonight about people dying of cancer. They let these people suffer for days on end. PLEASE, if I am in this state pump me with morphine and get it over with. I've already had two kids . . .
#19 - "I Think I'm Learning Japanese. I Think I'm Learning Japanese. I Really Think So. I Really Think So."
About five years ago, my mother-in-law was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer. One of her last wishes was to have family dinners together every night. Her definition of family included Rich, Priscille, herself and me. Rich and I were separated at that time and living in different places. I knew in my heart, though, that I had to do this for her. Rich and I, despite our issues with each other, knew that we had to do this together. And we did.
At the same time, I had a very difficult and challenging work situation. Very negative ...Turnover was high. Lots of stop and go! It was very stressful!
And on the weekends? I had my catering job.
During these two years, I had so many episodes of upper respiratory infections. I had never been so sick so much in all my life! The last attack was diagnosed as walking pneumonia. I felt so beaten down and overwhelmed, I just wanted to cry all the time.
But through it all, I had many blessings and so much support. The best support, of course, was my incredible walk with the Lord! Rich was a great teammate! My friends were my other blessings! The parties and karaoke nights kept me distracted and uplifted! My family in Hawaii kept me in their prayers and called often to see how I was doing. And no matter what came my way, I kept thinking "God does not give us anything we can't handle." We all get tested every so often in our lifetime.
Why am I telling you this? Because this flood of memories rushed back to me today after a two minute conversation with Transplant Team member Pat. If you haven't noticed, he has been MIA from our dialogues and blogs. So I called to check on him...to make sure he was still alive! When he answered the phone, he did not sound like the fun and happy Pat we know....not at all. No...as far as I know, there is no serious medical issue going on in his life. He said, however, that he had been really sick for awhile during the holidays. But his life has changed drastically in these past few weeks. When he returned from vacation, he had to take a new and different job at work which he now has to learn. When I called, he was waiting for a call from Japan ...waiting to get some guidance. On the home front, Breanne was applying to colleges so completing and submitting applications had been time and energy consuming for everyone involved! Costly too, I'm sure. There are major shifts happening in his life right now! He is overwhelmed with changes! Talk about stretching oneself in the new year!
Hey, Pat! I hope you know that the Team is here for you. ..and we are rooting for your speedy success!!! Do what you need to do to take care of business. You're a smart and focused guy so you'll be okay. Let us know how we can help! We will keep you in the loop and you jump in when you can. Know that you can text us or call us and we will gladly and temporarily distract and uplift you with cocktails, silliness and other fun and meaningful activities! Hang in there!
If you need to learn Japanese, I can teach you a couple of words and phrases...and they're not swear words! Use them as you deem necessary.
"Watashiwa nihongo wakadimasen. Eggo wakadimashta?"
English translation: "I don't understand Japanese. Do you understand English?"
...and "Domo arigato, Mr. Robato. Domo. Domo."
English translation: "Thank you, Mr. Robato. Thank you (slang). Thank you (slang)."
For two years, while my mother-in-law was alive, this was my schedule:
5:30 am - wake up / get Priscille ready for school / get myself ready for work
7:00 am - drop Priscille off at Rich's so that he could drive her to school
7:15 am - find parking along Eucalyptus so that I could catch the M car to the Civic Center
8:15 - 5:00 - work
6:00 - get to Rich's / cook dinner/ have the family dinner to include watching Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune
8:15 - tuck Anne (my mother-in-law) in to bed and then drive to my apartment
8:45 - arrive home / climb 3 flights of stairs / get Priscille ready for bed and for school the next day / do laundry or chores / catch a breather / watch TV / veg out
12:00 am - 1:00 am - get to bed / fall asleep
At the same time, I had a very difficult and challenging work situation. Very negative ...Turnover was high. Lots of stop and go! It was very stressful!
And on the weekends? I had my catering job.
During these two years, I had so many episodes of upper respiratory infections. I had never been so sick so much in all my life! The last attack was diagnosed as walking pneumonia. I felt so beaten down and overwhelmed, I just wanted to cry all the time.
But through it all, I had many blessings and so much support. The best support, of course, was my incredible walk with the Lord! Rich was a great teammate! My friends were my other blessings! The parties and karaoke nights kept me distracted and uplifted! My family in Hawaii kept me in their prayers and called often to see how I was doing. And no matter what came my way, I kept thinking "God does not give us anything we can't handle." We all get tested every so often in our lifetime.
Why am I telling you this? Because this flood of memories rushed back to me today after a two minute conversation with Transplant Team member Pat. If you haven't noticed, he has been MIA from our dialogues and blogs. So I called to check on him...to make sure he was still alive! When he answered the phone, he did not sound like the fun and happy Pat we know....not at all. No...as far as I know, there is no serious medical issue going on in his life. He said, however, that he had been really sick for awhile during the holidays. But his life has changed drastically in these past few weeks. When he returned from vacation, he had to take a new and different job at work which he now has to learn. When I called, he was waiting for a call from Japan ...waiting to get some guidance. On the home front, Breanne was applying to colleges so completing and submitting applications had been time and energy consuming for everyone involved! Costly too, I'm sure. There are major shifts happening in his life right now! He is overwhelmed with changes! Talk about stretching oneself in the new year!
Hey, Pat! I hope you know that the Team is here for you. ..and we are rooting for your speedy success!!! Do what you need to do to take care of business. You're a smart and focused guy so you'll be okay. Let us know how we can help! We will keep you in the loop and you jump in when you can. Know that you can text us or call us and we will gladly and temporarily distract and uplift you with cocktails, silliness and other fun and meaningful activities! Hang in there!
If you need to learn Japanese, I can teach you a couple of words and phrases...and they're not swear words! Use them as you deem necessary.
"Watashiwa nihongo wakadimasen. Eggo wakadimashta?"
English translation: "I don't understand Japanese. Do you understand English?"
...and "Domo arigato, Mr. Robato. Domo. Domo."
English translation: "Thank you, Mr. Robato. Thank you (slang). Thank you (slang)."
#18 - Speak Life
Speak Life |
TODAY’S SCRIPTURE |
“The tongue has the power of life and death...” |
(Proverbs 18:21, NIV) |
 |
TODAY’S WORD from Joel and Victoria |
God has given us amazing power through the use of our words. God created the world with the words He spoke, and we also have creative power with the words that we speak. Maybe you aren’t where you want to be in life today. Could it be because of the words you’ve spoken in your past? Have you spoken words of death by saying things like, “I’ll never rise any higher; I’ve gone as far as I can go?” Or maybe you’ve said, “I’ll never break this addiction. I’ve had it too long; it’s too hard.” Now, you are eating the fruit of those words — you’re still in the same place. If you are ready to change your situation, then it’s time to change what you say about your situation. If you want a different harvest, you have to change the seeds you are sowing. Today, choose to speak life over your future. Let your attitude be, “This may be the way it’s been in the past, but this is not the way it’s staying. I’m coming up higher. I may feel weak, but my declaration is that I am strong.” Speak life, choose life, and move forward in His victory and blessing. |
A PRAYER FOR TODAY |
Father in heaven, I repent for speaking words of death and sowing defeat in my own life. I ask that You uproot any negative crop from the past and help me speak words of faith so that I can walk in victory in every area of my life in Jesus’ name. Amen. |
Sunday, January 8, 2012
#17 - Another Member
Bonnie and I went to a karaoke party.
We ran into Shannon Mufarreh. She is from Napa, is married to a San Francisco native and TOTALLY gets the concept. In fact, she and I have talked on many occasions about how "different" things are from an outsider's perspective. She's sensitive, funny and reminds me that I am always ditching her. Yes, she has a great sense of humor. She's a doll!
So...Bonnie and I told her about our group. She immediately said that she wanted to join and be our secretary! We laughed! She even asked about our mission statement. We laughed! We told her that we hadn't gotten that far.
Ewan, you know her. Her daughter Lauren played volleyball with Erin.
Based on our "qualifiers", she is Special Ops because she is from California BUT...we may need to make an exception for Shannon. I can't ditch her now! Love that girl! We "need" a secretary!
We ran into Shannon Mufarreh. She is from Napa, is married to a San Francisco native and TOTALLY gets the concept. In fact, she and I have talked on many occasions about how "different" things are from an outsider's perspective. She's sensitive, funny and reminds me that I am always ditching her. Yes, she has a great sense of humor. She's a doll!
So...Bonnie and I told her about our group. She immediately said that she wanted to join and be our secretary! We laughed! She even asked about our mission statement. We laughed! We told her that we hadn't gotten that far.
Ewan, you know her. Her daughter Lauren played volleyball with Erin.
Based on our "qualifiers", she is Special Ops because she is from California BUT...we may need to make an exception for Shannon. I can't ditch her now! Love that girl! We "need" a secretary!
Saturday, January 7, 2012
#16 - Facing Reality and Learning From Ewan
Yikes!
I looked at my reality yesterday and got a big "WAKE UP!" slap in the face! I woke up this morning and got another slap in the face and this time it said "YOU CAN DO IT!" The problem is that the rest of me is scared!!!!
I will admit that I am really scared...and lazy...to make any changes to my "comfortable" situation. Comfortable? Really???? It is more like I am comfortable being uncomfortable...and that's so sad....but that is my reality. I feel overwhelmed with what I need to do i.e. clean the kitchen, clean the den, lose weight, pursue intellectual challenges, go back to church (Cornerstone), save money, make more money, plan a birthday something for my husband, plan to move out of San Francisco in a few years but to where or find a job in which I can travel more and use San Francisco as a home base, maybe pursue a doctorate degree, etc.... there's more and those are a lot more visceral. I am afraid to even acknowledge the visceral wake up calls!
Marketing and business consultant Peter Sheahan says that "action creates clarity". To move forward means that you must act in spite of ambiguity.
We need to take Ewan's lead on this. He ambiguously yet courageously stepped out of the box; managed the consequences even when they were uncomfortable; and moved on with another badge for being true to his journey. I admire you, Ewan! I think MJ is embracing this for you.
Ever since I put it out to the universe that I am moving forward, everything thrown my way has been scary and/or painful and/or delightful, exciting and fun. Stretching myself is part of the learning process. I know... I may act all brave but I get really scared and ambiguous as the revelations and opportunities have started to present themselves to me.
I think I just need to hold on tight! Who knows what will unfold? Really...when you think about it... this is all part of a bigger plan....and everything is supposed to happen this way!
So hang on, friends! For when you so choose, it can be a most spectacular ride of your life!! And it's a good one...I can feel it!! It's even better than Disneyland...and almost as good as sex! (And it may even get you some sex!!!)
I looked at my reality yesterday and got a big "WAKE UP!" slap in the face! I woke up this morning and got another slap in the face and this time it said "YOU CAN DO IT!" The problem is that the rest of me is scared!!!!
I will admit that I am really scared...and lazy...to make any changes to my "comfortable" situation. Comfortable? Really???? It is more like I am comfortable being uncomfortable...and that's so sad....but that is my reality. I feel overwhelmed with what I need to do i.e. clean the kitchen, clean the den, lose weight, pursue intellectual challenges, go back to church (Cornerstone), save money, make more money, plan a birthday something for my husband, plan to move out of San Francisco in a few years but to where or find a job in which I can travel more and use San Francisco as a home base, maybe pursue a doctorate degree, etc.... there's more and those are a lot more visceral. I am afraid to even acknowledge the visceral wake up calls!
Marketing and business consultant Peter Sheahan says that "action creates clarity". To move forward means that you must act in spite of ambiguity.
We need to take Ewan's lead on this. He ambiguously yet courageously stepped out of the box; managed the consequences even when they were uncomfortable; and moved on with another badge for being true to his journey. I admire you, Ewan! I think MJ is embracing this for you.
Ever since I put it out to the universe that I am moving forward, everything thrown my way has been scary and/or painful and/or delightful, exciting and fun. Stretching myself is part of the learning process. I know... I may act all brave but I get really scared and ambiguous as the revelations and opportunities have started to present themselves to me.
I think I just need to hold on tight! Who knows what will unfold? Really...when you think about it... this is all part of a bigger plan....and everything is supposed to happen this way!
So hang on, friends! For when you so choose, it can be a most spectacular ride of your life!! And it's a good one...I can feel it!! It's even better than Disneyland...and almost as good as sex! (And it may even get you some sex!!!)
Friday, January 6, 2012
Guiding Principles
I've always envied people whose guiding principles come from great philosophers or classic works for literature (Bible included). In conversations it sounds so eloquent to quote Marcus Aurelius. Till now, my great motivations came from the billboard on Turk and Larkin, Little Bear and Kung Fu Panda. Perfect conversation stoppers for those who pride in "deep" thinking.
In deference to my furry friends the writers must have studied the masters, because they came up with amazing wisdom in a context geared for children.
In the episode "Little Bear's Bad Day" all sorts of bad things were happening to him. When he came to the pond and frog greeted him, "Good Day" he responded, "there is nothing good about it!" In his response frog made a statement that on the surface is so simple, but in analysis so complex.
Frog stated, "A day is a day, it is neither good nor bad." In that split second I vowed to do my best to take back my moments of time. Mentally, I'm in control of how to interpret events and I was no longer going to be a hoarder of bad thoughts that would eventually pile up and bury me.
The mouse in Kung Fu Panda furthered this concept of control when he told Panda after a huge disappointment that "everything is meant to be." Now, I don't look back at what should or could have been. Where I'm at now "is," and I need to look forward if I want to change it.
And while I cherish the inspiration, I'm glad to say that my latest mantra is, "this too shall pass." Note, it is not from the Bible and it is larger than an inspirational quote to get through bad times.
Here's the story:
In deference to my furry friends the writers must have studied the masters, because they came up with amazing wisdom in a context geared for children.
In the episode "Little Bear's Bad Day" all sorts of bad things were happening to him. When he came to the pond and frog greeted him, "Good Day" he responded, "there is nothing good about it!" In his response frog made a statement that on the surface is so simple, but in analysis so complex.
Frog stated, "A day is a day, it is neither good nor bad." In that split second I vowed to do my best to take back my moments of time. Mentally, I'm in control of how to interpret events and I was no longer going to be a hoarder of bad thoughts that would eventually pile up and bury me.
The mouse in Kung Fu Panda furthered this concept of control when he told Panda after a huge disappointment that "everything is meant to be." Now, I don't look back at what should or could have been. Where I'm at now "is," and I need to look forward if I want to change it.
And while I cherish the inspiration, I'm glad to say that my latest mantra is, "this too shall pass." Note, it is not from the Bible and it is larger than an inspirational quote to get through bad times.
Here's the story:
According to an old sufi story, there was once a king in the middle east, who was constantly torn between happiness and despair. The slightest thing would provoke a strong reaction in him, and when he felt happiness, it would swiftly turn into disappointment or hopelessness.
The king eventually became so tired of himself, and his life, that he decided to face his problems and call for help. He was notified of a wise man in his kingdom, that was said to be enlightened. The king pleaded for his help, and when the wise man came to see the king, the king told him: “I want to be as you are. I want balance and clarity in my life – And i will pay you any price you demand for that insight”.
The wise man responded: “I might be able to help you, but this insight is so valuable, that the entirety of your kingdom will not be enough to pay for it. That’s why i will give it to you as a gift, if you will honor it”. The king promised he would, and the wise man went on his way.
Weeks later the wise man came to the king again. This time bringing a jade shrine. The shrine contained a golden ring with arab letters inscribed on it. The letters said: “This too shall pass”.
“What is the meaning of this?” the king asked as he stood baffled.
The wise man told him to always carry this ring on him, and to always look at it before he judged anything again. Good or bad. “Do this and peace will be with you always” the wise man said.
“What is the meaning of this?” the king asked as he stood baffled.
The wise man told him to always carry this ring on him, and to always look at it before he judged anything again. Good or bad. “Do this and peace will be with you always” the wise man said.
Namaste
#15 - My child may get a summer job!!!
Yesterday our neighbor dropped off some information about summer employment. The discussion that ensued was great. It was the start of a conversation about gathering information before making a decision. My little girl is growing up!!!
A Wild Childhood
Last spring my long-time girlfriend manned the “squirt shaving cream off a balloon using a water gun” booth at her son’s 5th grade end-of-school-year party . . .a tedious, mind-numbing endeavor. Not content to claim the title of “most boring booth,” she put shaving cream moustaches and beards on children for others to squirt off. It was a success that led to an all out shaving cream fight with my friend happily supplying the cans.
Her story sounded like one from our collective past. . . until she revealed the twist. The other mothers did not appreciate that the children were having a great time and cited one girl’s injury. . . shaving cream in her eye . . . as evidence of my friend inciting malicious mayhem.
My friend and I grew up in the day when a seatbelt was mom’s long arm that magically stretched to the passenger-side door of the car in a sudden stop; pop bottle rockets were a 4th of July standard; and a kid could hop a train to the coast . . . as long as he was home by the time the street lights came on. As I remember, there was an unwritten rule that we must come home unscathed and not in a police car. So, whatever we got into, we figured a way out before dinner was served.
I distinctly remember applying this rule the day I was sitting on my living room couch and dropped a pair of rose clippers into my foot. Don’t ask me why I had a pair of rose clippers . . . I’ll just blame my underdeveloped juvenile brain in retort. However, I vividly remember the moment I saw the clippers imbedded in my foot. My first thought was, “There’s NO way I can get a drop of blood on my mom’s new carpet!” So, I grabbed my foot with clippers wedged between my bones and hopped into the kitchen where I pulled them out and bandaged my wound. Fortunately, we camped a lot so I was always up-to-date on my tetanus shot . . . I still have a scar.
In this world, shaving cream fights were the culmination of a lingering last day of school, where we filled the hours with putting pig tails on the boys and wore red lipstick to leave lip prints on our friends cheeks and foreheads. (Oh yea. . . the lipstick escapade almost got us kicked out of school.) However, by the time my actions warranted harsher consequences, I acted accordingly.
I acknowledge the world has changed, and while I fully appreciate attempts to keep our children safe (I don’t drive until all seatbelts are latched), I can’t help but wonder if in our "helicopter" or hovering parenting we aren’t denying our children the opportunity to develop their ability to manage consequences and make split-second decisions.
In my job I interview college graduates for intern positions and I lose count the number of times they mention what their parents said or think during the interview. They appear unprepared to make any decision affecting their lives without consulting mom and dad.
At 44, I still talk things over with my parents. However, I appreciate that they gave me the freedom in my youth to understand the effect of my decisions and deal with them. I worry about young adults who have never had the opportunity to do this and wonder what will happen the day they are forced to make a decision where the consequence is more severe than staining a carpet or missing the last day of school.
By protecting our children from negligible dangers that teach them how to deal with adversity without lasting damage, we aren’t preparing them to deal with the realities of adult life. Historically, each generation of parents attempt to make their children’s lives better. But with everything there’s a tipping point, and I doubt our attempts at protecting our children from adversity is an exception.
I don’t know exactly where to draw the line, but I do know that shaving cream won't kill you, and in all nature a certain amount of struggle is needed for life to develop properly. My daughter’s school curriculum packet ended with a story about a butterfly’s need to struggle out of its chrysalis in order to properly develop and survive. Michael Josephson of Character Counts uses this story to emphasize that, “[a]dversity is not always an enemy. It’s often teaching that helps a young person develop wings strengthened by self-confidence and self-reliance.”
Perhaps in this holiday season, instead of the latest Wii game, the most valuable gift I can give my children is the freedom to make decisions and the opportunity to deal with the consequences.
In return . . . I pray they don’t involve the ubermom’s child who lives down the block!
Thursday, January 5, 2012
I'll start playing by the rules
For the record I listen to NPR because I am a dork, not because I think it will improve me. If NPR had that power it would have worked for me years ago.
I also want to overcome irrational fears that society lays on us. Whether we know or not, we are no more evolved than a pack of dogs who vie for a high social position in fear of ending up the runt thrown to the wolves. In order to maintain our "status" we live in a way that feeds the Alphas' insecurities rather than our souls.
Helen Keller's complete quote sums it up,
"Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing."
For me 2012 will be a year of exposure.
Namaste
I also want to overcome irrational fears that society lays on us. Whether we know or not, we are no more evolved than a pack of dogs who vie for a high social position in fear of ending up the runt thrown to the wolves. In order to maintain our "status" we live in a way that feeds the Alphas' insecurities rather than our souls.
Helen Keller's complete quote sums it up,
"Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing."
For me 2012 will be a year of exposure.
Namaste
If You Want to Change Your Life Change Your Underwear
by Bonnie Zavadil Macaraig
Every week I receive Dr. Alan Zimmerman’s motivational e-mail with a “Tuesday tip” of inspirational insight. A while back the email contained the quote, “if you want to change your life, change your mind.” I found it insightful enough to write it on the white board in my office, where it stayed until one morning I walked in to find that someone had changed “mind” to “underwear.” After recovering from the exposing image imprinted on my brain, it dawned on me that the phantom white board tagger had it right.
Dr. Zimmerman’s quote is insightful if you are only concerned with changing your intentions. The world is filled with people who really want to make a major life change and fully intend to improve their lives, but keep on doing the same dumb stuff that got them into their situation in the first place. We all know the smoker who vows to quit after “one last cigarette.” And, what about that monthly “donation” to the gym? Real change requires a decisive action. So, thanks to my whiteboard writer, my mantra has become: “If you want to change your life . . . change your underwear.”
Our underwear reflects every major life passage that humans experience, from the day we leave diapers, to the day our loss of bodily control puts us right back into them. Whether we actively make the choice, or circumstance dictates, when we make a major life change our underwear makes a major style change. My son is a perfect example. Before his first day of kindergarten he insisted on replacing his cartoon character emblazed briefs with clean, white Hanes. Entering kindergarten meant he was a responsible young man with real things to do. Wearing Spiderman on his behind was just too much of a reminder of the ‘little kid” he had been the summer before. His briefs were his symbol of growing independence; his secret mark of maturity.
More than our choice of a car, our choice of underwear emanates the essence of who we are, and as in my son’s case, who we want to become. We’ve abandoned many social rites of passage, but a change of underwear still manages to fill the void. Traditional cultures held ceremonies for a girl’s transition into womanhood. Today, that’s about the same time a barely teen runs out to Abercrombie to buy her first thong. I can always spot the swagger of an adolescent girl wearing a thong for the first time. Every time she bends over in her plumber-crack jeans her thong reverberates to the world, “I have become a sexual being.”
Conversely, I have a forty-something girlfriend who successfully wore “granny panties” in her youth as a chastity belt to prevent her from sleeping with a guy on their first date. The more she liked him, the further she kept him from discovering this extremely effective prophylactic.
I still can’t figure out why men who hit 40 turn to black underwear . . . and I’m not sure I want to.
It could be that our ignorance of underwear’s power just may be sabotaging our self-improvement efforts. Just think of the control we could have over our lives if we put as much effort into buying our underwear as we do our self-help books or the next “miracle” skin cream. Our underwear drawer is the last place we consciously look to when initiating a tough change in our lives, but maybe it should be the place to start. I experienced my moment of truth when I folded an entire load of my mother’s underwear, which wouldn’t have been such an epiphany had they actually been hers . . . and not mine. I realized then and there that the only way I could stop the process of physically morphing into my mother was to run out to my local lingerie store and replace my supply of granny panties with something I would expect the hip me to wear. It not only did the trick, it also opened my eyes to other aspects of me that I had begun to let slide . . . like my butt. So, take if from me in my low-rise bikinis, if you are serious about changing something in your life . . . start with your underwear.
My first Post.
I can't think of anything to write at the moment so I'm going to share a column I have written. It is not my best, but it was the only one I can find at the moment.
btw. . .I've finished week 1 book, Incidents in the life of a slave girl, and I'm moving on to week 2 book, The Body Departed.
Here’s the Story of a Lovely Lady. . . from Generation Jones
btw. . .I've finished week 1 book, Incidents in the life of a slave girl, and I'm moving on to week 2 book, The Body Departed.
Here’s the Story of a Lovely Lady. . . from Generation Jones
'Thanks to an on-line poster I just discovered that I am a member of Generation Jones. Social commentator Jonathan Pontell coined the term for the generation born in the optimistic 60’s with baby boom expectations. . . that came of age in the pessimistic ‘70s. We were named "Jones" because we are jonesing (“keep up with the Jones” kind of craving) for all the benefits our baby boomer brothers and sisters received.
If you peruse the internet you’ll find that Generation Jones is largely defined by what we don’t have. We are the generation that would have no baby pictures if it weren’t for those taken with our boomer siblings . . . improperly holding us with our heads dangerously dangling. We knew that “duck and cover” wouldn’t save us long before we discovered that there is no Santa. Our bedrooms . . . if we got one of our own . . . were eclectic mixes of cowboy and princess themed castoffs determined by the genders that came before us.
I was even brought to school as my sister’s “show and tell” item.
However, with all that we’ve supposedly missed, we are still a blessed generation. Yes, Generation Jones owns one thing to which no generation before or after can lay claim . . . the sitcom theme song. The most the Baby Boom Generation could expect was to whistle along with Opie goin’ fishin’ in The Andy Griffith Show.
Yes, Gen-Xr’s may have squeaked in with The Facts of Life and Family Ties. But I’ll bet my Kitty Karry-all doll that they can only remember the words to the chorus.
When Musak took over our elevators, the sitcom theme song followed suit.
Generation Jones grew up to the catchy tunes of The Brady Bunch, Gilligan’s Island, and Green Acres just to name a few. Everything you needed to know about the show was summed up in those minute ditties. We memorized them all.
My generation was so devoted to our sitcom themes songs that Cindy Brady was forced to wear those goofy braids with the twist at the end just so she could remain, “the youngest one in curls.”
I’d say that more of us could remember The Brady Bunch song than the preamble to the Constitution of the United States . . . if it weren’t for School House Rock. In fact, I can’t recite the preamble without singing the jingle in my head.
We Jonesers have our sitcom songs embedded in our brains. Once you get us started we can fill up a lunch hour belting out one tune after another. When our voices are sore we whisper, “Space . . . the Final Frontier.”
(For those of you calculating right now . . . no one bothered to watch Star Trek till it went into syndication.)
Our waistlines have expanded and our hairlines have receded. Yet, we from Generation Jones can step back in time to our youth before we’ve hummed the second note of The Partridge Family theme song.
So, to all you Jonesers out there, “Cm’on get happyyyyy!”
To everyone else, “We’ll make you happyyy-e-e!”'
O.K. so another Sisyphusian (my own word) attempt to roll the boulder to the top of the hill.
The boulder contains:
- much lard
- bad eating habits
- laziness
- depression
- arrogance
- atrophying physical capabilities
- atrophying mental capabilities
How I will defeat Zeus:
- strict adherence to an LFLesque type diet
- another attempt at P90 or modified excersize program
- 8 hours on bike or trainer per week
- complete one book of any type per week
- plan a bike/golf getaway
- plan a family vacation
- learn to play guitar
- learn to maintain bike even better
- go minimilist and neat and quiet
- spend more quality time with kids
- spend more quality time with wife
- keep in mind the steps ahead that lead to the top
Of course you're welcome to projectile vomit at this. In fact, I encourage it!
#14 - Rule #1
Ewan said something interesting the other night. He said "This is about what WE want to do." He's right. This is about what we, for whatever reasons and on some cosmic level, have not allowed ourselves to pursue, latent or otherwise. This is about coming out of the shadows and into the light.
How does this apply to Rule #1? Remember that we are all married and in our committed relationships. Ideally, your ideas, wants and desires are communicated to your spouse. If he or she would like to partake in what you have initiated or have expressed an interest in pursuing, then he or she ought to be considered and/or included in the activity. When your needs are verbalized, met and addressed, you become a more willing participant in the marriage and vice versa. Of course every relationship is different. As it relates to our activites, you make the call based on your situation but know that we welcome spousal support and attendance.
I think, however, our Charter Members meetings should be Members ONLY. This is our time to develop and nurture the unique support system we have.
And as I said in the beginning, this is all a work-in-progress. We ought to be as open and flexible as we need to be.
Just my opinion......
How does this apply to Rule #1? Remember that we are all married and in our committed relationships. Ideally, your ideas, wants and desires are communicated to your spouse. If he or she would like to partake in what you have initiated or have expressed an interest in pursuing, then he or she ought to be considered and/or included in the activity. When your needs are verbalized, met and addressed, you become a more willing participant in the marriage and vice versa. Of course every relationship is different. As it relates to our activites, you make the call based on your situation but know that we welcome spousal support and attendance.
I think, however, our Charter Members meetings should be Members ONLY. This is our time to develop and nurture the unique support system we have.
And as I said in the beginning, this is all a work-in-progress. We ought to be as open and flexible as we need to be.
Just my opinion......
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
#13 - The Rules
RULES:
1. Spouses need to support this concept. We still need to live our regular and normal lives! "A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty." - Sir Winston Churchill
2. Keep an open heart and an open mind! "Approach the game with no preset agendas and you'll probably come away surprised at your overall efforts." - Phil Jackson
3. No judgments of one's ideas and choices! We can agree to disagree but everyone's individual opinions, interests, etc are accepted! "You don't get harmony when everyone sings the same note." - Doug Floyd
4. Personal sharings are kept among team members only. We need to trust one another.
"To have faith is to trust yourself to the water. When you swim you don't grab hold of the water, because if you do you will sink and drown. Instead you relax, and float." - Alan Watts
*We really need to get together soon as a group - The Charter Members - to celebrate our purpose and the journey. "Some succeed because they are destined to, but most succeed because they are determined to." - Unknown
1. Spouses need to support this concept. We still need to live our regular and normal lives! "A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty." - Sir Winston Churchill
2. Keep an open heart and an open mind! "Approach the game with no preset agendas and you'll probably come away surprised at your overall efforts." - Phil Jackson
3. No judgments of one's ideas and choices! We can agree to disagree but everyone's individual opinions, interests, etc are accepted! "You don't get harmony when everyone sings the same note." - Doug Floyd
4. Personal sharings are kept among team members only. We need to trust one another.
"To have faith is to trust yourself to the water. When you swim you don't grab hold of the water, because if you do you will sink and drown. Instead you relax, and float." - Alan Watts
*We really need to get together soon as a group - The Charter Members - to celebrate our purpose and the journey. "Some succeed because they are destined to, but most succeed because they are determined to." - Unknown
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
#12 - Sexy and Hot! Bringing Your Best!
Bonnie has a personal trainer now. Physically she is becoming her best! She listens to NPR daily and wants to start a book club . She works hard to remain intellectually challenged. She is also up for a very huge promotion - a notable accomplishment with our federal government. That girl is gorgeous and she is kicking ass!
What are the rest of us doing to bring our best?
When I was younger, I always brought my best to the table. In grammar school, I was recognized with academic honors. I got a standing ovation as Anna in the school play "The King and I". In high school, I was busy - Student Council, Pep Squad Captain, Speech Team Captain, Homecoming Princess, National Honor Society, and a contestant in the Hawaii Junior Miss Pageant! College? I have two Bachelor degrees and a Masters degree. Yes, years ago, bringing my best always validated my sense of self!
The little I know about our other team members' individual accomplishments and assets are noteworthy yet doesn't even touch the surface of their incredible stories:
Pat was a Navy pilot! That's one sharp guy!
Ewan is a respected rugby player and is awesome in his line of work!
Gary's incredibly intelligent, resourceful, intuitive and innovative...and one avid bicyclist and Sharks fan!
So now's our time to rekindle the burning embers...time to kick butt ...time to strive to achieve our personal best! This is when omronian's reflection on how we "live in a world of predetermined expectations" can start its metamorphosis. Let's revive and reinvent our awesome selves!!!! We've got the tools! They just need to be sharpened, upgraded and replaced!
Remind yourself of those past accomplishments...that you are amazing...that you are strong, curious, sharp and intelligent...that you are incredibly and ridiculously good looking....that you are stunningly beautiful...that you are sexy and hot (oh yeah!)....that you are kind and adventurous ...that you have a soul yearning to be cultivated and fulfilled....and that the rest of your life is waiting to be lived !!!
"When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be." Lao Tzu
"The life you have led doesn't need to be the only life you'll have." Anna Quindlen
...and one of Bonnie's favorites...
"Life is either a daring adventure...or nothing." Helen Keller
What are we doing to bring our best? We need to follow Bonnie's lead! Let's kick butt!!!
What are the rest of us doing to bring our best?
When I was younger, I always brought my best to the table. In grammar school, I was recognized with academic honors. I got a standing ovation as Anna in the school play "The King and I". In high school, I was busy - Student Council, Pep Squad Captain, Speech Team Captain, Homecoming Princess, National Honor Society, and a contestant in the Hawaii Junior Miss Pageant! College? I have two Bachelor degrees and a Masters degree. Yes, years ago, bringing my best always validated my sense of self!
The little I know about our other team members' individual accomplishments and assets are noteworthy yet doesn't even touch the surface of their incredible stories:
Pat was a Navy pilot! That's one sharp guy!
Ewan is a respected rugby player and is awesome in his line of work!
Gary's incredibly intelligent, resourceful, intuitive and innovative...and one avid bicyclist and Sharks fan!
So now's our time to rekindle the burning embers...time to kick butt ...time to strive to achieve our personal best! This is when omronian's reflection on how we "live in a world of predetermined expectations" can start its metamorphosis. Let's revive and reinvent our awesome selves!!!! We've got the tools! They just need to be sharpened, upgraded and replaced!
Remind yourself of those past accomplishments...that you are amazing...that you are strong, curious, sharp and intelligent...that you are incredibly and ridiculously good looking....that you are stunningly beautiful...that you are sexy and hot (oh yeah!)....that you are kind and adventurous ...that you have a soul yearning to be cultivated and fulfilled....and that the rest of your life is waiting to be lived !!!
"When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be." Lao Tzu
"The life you have led doesn't need to be the only life you'll have." Anna Quindlen
...and one of Bonnie's favorites...
"Life is either a daring adventure...or nothing." Helen Keller
What are we doing to bring our best? We need to follow Bonnie's lead! Let's kick butt!!!
Monday, January 2, 2012
#11- He Steps Out Of The Box!
"I want to go!"
"Hey! It's a NEW year!"
Ewan went to the movies last night with me and my friend Nina - I'll talk more about her later. We went to see "The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo." This story is smart and violent. You kinda need to be ready for this thought provoking and gut wrenching experience! What an enlightening evening as we ended it with philosophizing at Philosophers! Ewan, have you started reading the trilogy yet?
Ewan also wants to see Neil Diamond at the HP Pavilion in San Jose this year. I am down for that too BUT the concert is on a Tuesday night. In lieu of that, Ewan said that maybe we should have a Neil Diamond party and we could just sing his songs. I suggested we go to Estradas on Thursday nights and karaoke. There are lots of Neil Diamond songs to sing. We could have our own party there! And the old-ish yet young at heart audience is very very supportive. I'm down for Estradas if I don't stay out too late. I have to go to work the following morning! Karaoke there starts at 9 pm.
"Courage is when you are brave enough to do what's right in your heart even when your flesh is telling you otherwise." (I am paraphrasing, of course.) That's the line that propelled the first maid into telling her story in "The Help", another great book and movie, by the way.
Just wanna say...Good on you, Ewan! It IS a new year!
And would I steer you wrong? Follow the rules - especially rule #1 (do we need to review them again?) and be true to your journey. This is great for all of us (including spouses)!
p.s. Nina? She is my friend from work - Moved to San Francisco 5 months ago from a short stint in Chicago, born and raised in Carmel Valley, UC Davis grad, worked for the Sacramento Kings, once engaged to Bill Cartwright's son, has traveled the world and wants to do more of it. Ewan and I knighted her onto The Team. She is Special Ops.
"Hey! It's a NEW year!"
Ewan went to the movies last night with me and my friend Nina - I'll talk more about her later. We went to see "The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo." This story is smart and violent. You kinda need to be ready for this thought provoking and gut wrenching experience! What an enlightening evening as we ended it with philosophizing at Philosophers! Ewan, have you started reading the trilogy yet?
Ewan also wants to see Neil Diamond at the HP Pavilion in San Jose this year. I am down for that too BUT the concert is on a Tuesday night. In lieu of that, Ewan said that maybe we should have a Neil Diamond party and we could just sing his songs. I suggested we go to Estradas on Thursday nights and karaoke. There are lots of Neil Diamond songs to sing. We could have our own party there! And the old-ish yet young at heart audience is very very supportive. I'm down for Estradas if I don't stay out too late. I have to go to work the following morning! Karaoke there starts at 9 pm.
"Courage is when you are brave enough to do what's right in your heart even when your flesh is telling you otherwise." (I am paraphrasing, of course.) That's the line that propelled the first maid into telling her story in "The Help", another great book and movie, by the way.
Just wanna say...Good on you, Ewan! It IS a new year!
And would I steer you wrong? Follow the rules - especially rule #1 (do we need to review them again?) and be true to your journey. This is great for all of us (including spouses)!
p.s. Nina? She is my friend from work - Moved to San Francisco 5 months ago from a short stint in Chicago, born and raised in Carmel Valley, UC Davis grad, worked for the Sacramento Kings, once engaged to Bill Cartwright's son, has traveled the world and wants to do more of it. Ewan and I knighted her onto The Team. She is Special Ops.
Sunday, January 1, 2012
#10 - New Adventures...New Experiences Ahead
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Here's to a SPECTACULAR year of great adventures, great experiences and an abundance and many blessings of love, happiness ....and financial comfort!
p.s. I tried something new today. I went to a fondue party at Bonnie's. Yummmmmm!!! Great new tradition, Bonnie!
Here's to a SPECTACULAR year of great adventures, great experiences and an abundance and many blessings of love, happiness ....and financial comfort!
p.s. I tried something new today. I went to a fondue party at Bonnie's. Yummmmmm!!! Great new tradition, Bonnie!
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