Talks of company lay offs began occurring at my job in August of last year. Although I am probably not on the list (knock on wood), it has still rattled the core of my being. What if I am on the list and they're not telling me yet? How will I survive? How I could possibly change careers at my age? Now what am I supposed to do? That pit in my stomach churned and burned and made me sick and immobile. And then fear and the survival mode kicked in! It became one of the wake up calls I needed! (I'm a snooze alarm person!)
I realized that I had become complacent. I had accepted mediocrity in almost every area of my life. I had adopted the attitude that this was how I should be living. After all, it's been working. My life in San Francisco with its "predetermined expectations" is comfortable enough.
But what's the pay off? The positve pay offs are numerous but is the price worth the weight gain and how exhausted, lethargic, emotional, irritable and anxious I am all the time? (What!? No, Tom Cleary, I am not always a "Rey of Sunshine!") Is this really where and how I want to be? Maybe this just doesn't work anymore. Or maybe it works for now but there is still more for me to do. Maybe this is all part of the trade off....for now.
For whatever reason, I have grown accustomed to the low degree of effort I have been putting into fulfilling my own personal potential. I was raised to always strive to be better yet here I am ....right now.
I believe I need to pull up my big girl underwear (the sexy ones, of course!) and get going! If they say that we only use 10% of our potential, then what kind of life would I be living if I was at 20%? 50%? 100%? If I gave myself the chance to change something... to reach further ...dream bigger, what would my life be like?
If failure is not an option, then I need to speak positive affirmations and release the negative self-talk. If failure is not an option, then I have to speak my goals and dreams into existence.
If I am getting out of my own way and visualizing my world outside of the box in which I exist, then the fear of failure and the fear of the unknown will not stand in my way!
What I will say for right now is that I am loving this journey. Although scary and uncomfortable at times, I relish in the notion that I am moving forward in a positive direction. If I'm only at 10%, then what does 20% ... 50%.... 100%... mean to me?
What about YOU? What is your story with complacency and mediocrity?
If you allow yourself the chance to change something ... to reach further ... dream bigger, what would your life be like at 20%? 50%? 100%?
The world is our oyster!
And I definitely see oysters in the future! Picture this...kicking back under the shade on a warm tropical beach somewhere....grilling oysters on the hibachi...splashing some tobasco and soy sauce on those amazingly delicious bivalve molluscs...and then downing them with a nice cold bottle of beer! Aaaaaaa.......yum! If you like oysters, life is good! If you don't like oysters yet can see yourself kicking back under the shade on a warm tropical beach, then the world is your oyster. Aaaaaa...life is good!
I've had the same thoughts verbatim (sans the sexy panties).
ReplyDeleteI sense the need to express them as a needed impetus to move forward with them - like you're leaning into the wind.
"The first days are the hardest days, don't you worry any more
When life looks like easy street, there is danger at your door" Thanks Grateful Dead
Once you roll through the first days, the first weeks - it gets easier - right - it's gotta..